Neal's Daughter
by Anaroriel
Summary: The prophecy has finally come to pass. Kimi of Queenscove decides that she wants to become a knight. But is Neal willing to let her live her dream? Are the pages going to see to it that she fails? Will she ever accept who she truly is? COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I don't own any of the characters but Kimi: they all belong to Tamora Pierce.**

Kimiko of Queenscove sat in the waiting room outside her parents' chamber. Her head was bent and her arms clasped in front of her as if in submission. Her dark hair fell into her unusually expressive Yamani eyes and shadowed part of her naturally pale face. She took after her Yamani mother only in hair color, eyes and slight darkened skin but remained the rest like her father; tall and lanky with a prominent widow's peak that appeared when she tilted her head to watch her father's pacing movements.

Nealan of Queenscove, Kimi's father, was beside himself and flustered. He had been cornered by his daughter and wife that evening and informed that his ten-year-old daughter wanted to become a page. He observed his daughter while making occasional squawks of disbelief and saw her show of submission. He wasn't fooled. Kimi was as feisty as her mother and as dramatic as her father.

"Kimi, may you please excuse us?" Yukimi noh Daiomoru of Queenscove asked her daughter. Kimi stood and bowed to her mother and father and hurried out, presumably to find a glass so she could listen at the door better. "I don't understand why you are so upset by this, Neal, it isn't as if you didn't encourage her," Yuki's slightly accented voice held no more emotion than her still face, but she still felt frustration and a little amusement at her husband's reaction.

"Encouraged her! Encouraged her? When have I ever told her that I think she should become a knight?" Neal threw himself down on a chair only to jump up again and resume pacing.

"You are best friends with the first known female page in over a century and you were squire to the first female knight in over a century," Yuki reminded him.

Neal ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "I know, but this is our Kimi we're talking about."

"And you don't think Kimi could succeed like Kel?" Yuki stood up and pulled out her fan to show her agitation, waving it at her herself furiously.

"Kel had me!"

"Kimi can make friends easily and knows more about the palace than you do. Kimi can survive without you, or find someone similar to what you were to Kel. Unless, of course, you wish to relive your page years," Yuki teased with a glint of humor in her eyes. Neal shuddered. "I am sure Lord HaMinch would be glad to have you so you can look after Kimi. I've heard he's even better than Lord Wyldon."

"All right, all right, enough." Neal put up his hands in a gesture of surrender. "It is just… it is a difficult life, even more so for a girl. I saw what Kel had to go through and continues to go through. I am not certain that Kimi is ready for that kind of commitment to deal with the pressure the rest of her life. I want to shield her from that as much as I can." He cast his eyes around the room without seeing anything then looked up at his wife. "Yuki, we can't protect her if she becomes a page. Her reputation will be in shreds and I don't know if she is ready for that. And," he hesitated then decided to risk offending his wife, "it might be even more difficult because she is half-Yamani."

Yuki nodded, for she knew he spoke the truth. "But Neal, I think you underestimate Kimi. If it is a great concern of yours though, both you and Kel can talk with her and help her understand. This is her dream, and we shouldn't stand in her way."

"I suppose." He paused and his voice became cynical. "Forgive me for not wanting my daughter to go through hardships. What a horrible father I am trying to be."

"Yes," Yuki replied seriously and closed her fan with a snap. Neal looked startled and a little hurt that she agreed with his sarcasm. She shook her head. "No," she admitted. "You are a wonderful father, and Kimi is lucky to call you hers. But you will have to learn to let her go and let her lead her own life." She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. She understood how difficult it was for Neal to let his daughter go since they were always rather close. "If that is your only concern then it is decided. You are going to tell our daughter that she can go if she truly wants to, and that she goes with our blessing."

"Can't I have a few days to think about it first?" he cried, exasperated.

"Yes, of course." Yuki said and put her fan in her sash. The glint of humor was returning to her eyes. "In the meantime, I will ask Lady Alanna and Kel to come for a visit. I think their reactions to your hesitation will be… enlightening." Her Yamani mask of calm slipped with a grin when she saw the expression on her husband's face. "Kimi!" she called as she glided toward the door and out into the hallway. "I've decided your Aunt Kel and Aunt Alanna should come for a visit."

Kimi jumped up guiltily with a glass in her left hand and tried to bow with one hand. "Yes, mum, that sounds wonderful!" she cried with a grin and scurried away to contact them.

"Wait, Kimi!" Neal ducked his head out of the room and Kimi skidded to a halt at the end of the hallway. He looked like he was struggling with himself to say something but was losing the fight. When Kimi began to turn away again, her father blurted out, "All right, I've decided. You may become a page if that's what you really want." Yuki watched him carefully with a calculated and an un-Yamani look of triumph on her face. "You have our blessing." He mumbled, but Kimi was already leaping and yelling with joy.

As Kimi ran off to contact her Aunt Kel and Aunt Alanna anyway, Yuki approached her husband and kissed him thoroughly. "Bossy little thing," he murmured softly as he stroked her hair.

"She'll be fine, Neal," Yuki replied. "She'll make us proud, I know it."

Neal sighed. "I never expected any different from our girl."


	2. Chapter 2

Kimi could barely contain her excitement. Her father and mother were riding into the city with her, as they had done a dozen times before, but this time was different. This time she wouldn't be returning with them.

The family entered into the palace and went up to Neal's room to freshen up before meeting the training master. Neal often stayed at the palace as a main healer and so his rooms were well-lived in and comfortable.

"I'm going to be a knight," Kimi informed the servant who arrived to offer his services. She had to tell someone, her excitement was so uncontained. More than anything she wanted to get started, but for the moment her energy was bubbling over with joy, and she had to tell someone who didn't know her news. "I am going to go off and travel the country and do a great many deeds. I'll be even more famous than the Lioness, so remember me so you can say you first knew me when I was a page."

"Kimi!" Her mother snapped out her fan and smacked it into the other palm to show her disapproval of Kimi's chattering. "Let the man do his work."

Kimi giggled a little then let the servant go fetch some water. "Sorry," she told her mother and attempted to imagine herself as a stone. The effect and lesson was ruined, however, when Neal walked in from the side room.

"Well this looks like fun," he drawled. "Kimi, my dear girl, I admire your ability to please your mother so often."

Kimi's calm shattered with a grin as she replied, "I learn from the best, Da."

"I am glad that you are going to be a page, Kimi. Perhaps finally you will learn some discipline," Yuki said, disapproval so slight in her voice that only Kimi recognized it.

Kimi bowed and looked ashamed. "Forgive me, Mother," she whispered in Yamani. "I promise I will not shame you, our family, or myself."

"I know that you won't shame us, Kimi," her mother said in Common for her husband's benefit, who was starting to look annoyed because he couldn't understand. And then, before she could help herself, she hurriedly spoke instructions to Kimi in her native tongue. "I am going to go visit Shinko for a few hours because she is expecting me today. You and your father are going to go without me to see the training master, and I want you to be on your best behavior. Make sure your father keeps quiet enough and things will go smoothly. A subtle stepping on his foot works well, but only use it in dire moments." Kimi giggled as she imagined what 'dire moments' meant with her father.

"What _are_ you telling her?" Neal frowned at his wife. He could only understand a few words and phrases, 'father' being one of them, but Yuki spoke so quickly she sounded incomprehensible to him.

"How to behave before the training master and other things," she told him, her eyes crinkling in laughter.

"I see," he said and drew himself to his full height. He tried to act offended. "It is a sad day when a man's wife and child plot against him," he said loftily and ignored the two females' giggles.

It was at this momentthe servant arrived and drew attention to the time. "I must go," Yuki said, and she turned to her daughter. "Kimiko, I've never been more proud of you. Serve the kingdom well, and remember all the things I've taught you." And in a rare show of affection, Yuki hugged her daughter and kissed her forehead. "May the Gods bless and protect you," she murmured as a Yamani prayer.

Kimi watched her mother leave, and then turned to prepare for her meeting with the training master. She because focused and sure of herself as she washed her face and pulled her hair back to braid.

Her father shook his head and went into the next room to change. Kimi's personality was as confusing as a half-Yamani, half-Tortallan's could be. Most of the time she was all laughter and energy and passion, but this was often interrupted with periods of Yamani calm and focus. Such a period was this, and Kimi's sudden somberness drifted over her completely and led her mind to more serious thoughts. She was to be the sixth girl to attempt to go through the training to be a knight in thirty-six years. It was a hard legacy to follow, since all were very famous and successful.

There was Alanna the Lioness of Pirate's Swoop and Olau, the first girl who tried to be a knight by hiding her sex for eight years. She became the King's Champion and one of the best swordsmen in all of Tortall. Lady Knight Keladry of Masbolle was next, the first known girl to go through the training. She was called Protector of the Small, a title bestowed upon her by the seer Irnai whenIrnai was a child. And true to her name, Kel saved the lives of hundreds of children by destroying Blayce the Gallan and his killing machines he created by use of children's souls. After the large gap between Lady Alanna and Lady Keladry, girls started coming more often to train. The sisters Fianola and Vanari, called the Sisters of Thunder for when they single-handedly stopped a band of Tusaine knights from invading and controlling the north eastern section of Tortall, followed a year before Keladry became a knight; and Regiana of Phoenix Peak was recently made a squire of Sir Merric of Hollyrose. _And now me, _Kimi thought, and she gulped back a sudden surge of emotion. She was finally going to live her dream and become a Lady Knight of Tortall.

A man came to the door and Kimi answered it quietly, her mask of calm steadily in place.

"I'm here t' tell Lady Kimiko" he stumbled over her name slightly, "of Queenscove that it's time for her t' meet my Lord HaMinch."

Her Yamani face dropped. "Right now?" she gasped and gave a noise of delight. "Da! Da, it's time to go!" A bang of surprise replied her sudden yell and she heard her father cry something like "just a minute". "What's your name?" she asked the man who looked bewildered by all the noise.

"Uh, M – Machal," he stuttered.

"It's pleasant to meet you," she replied charmingly. "Do you work for Lord HaMinch, or do you just run messages for the nobles in the castle?"

"I work for Lord HaMinch."

"Splendid! Then we might meet again. I'm called Kimi, and I am going to be a page. Actually, I am going to be the sixth female to try for her shield."

The man was about to reply, a small smile placed on his lips when Neal came into the room. "Who are you talking to, Kimi?" Neal asked with a frown.

Machal stood up straight and became serious. "Your Grace, I am here to escort you and your daughter to Lord HaMinch for your meeting," he bowed formally.

"Of course. Lead the way."

Kimi followed with a skip but slowed to a serious walk after receiving a frown from her father. She realized now would be a better time to appear formal to impress Lord HaMinch, and her Yamani mask slid into place.


	3. Chapter 3

Neal and Kimi sat at the two chairs behind the desk. Kimi studied the man before her: Lord Padraig HaMinch. He was a dark man, with swarthy skin and dark-cropped hair streaked with gray. He had been the training master of the pages for the last thirteen years and he was not a young man. The Lord of HaMinch was also very tall and broad, and Kimi was having difficulty deciding what part of Tortall he was from. He had large dark eyes and a large nose that was flat rather than pointed. At the moment, he had thin pursed lips with a hint of deep worry etched into the lines around his eyes and mouth. Kimi could not see why he seemed uneager and unwilling to take her. Finally he sighed and his mouth relaxed slightly.

"Wine? Fruit Juice?" he offered them, and then leaned back with a smile. "I've been doing this a long time now, and even though I've had three female pages come through her, it takes me a moment to overcome the initial shock of having another one.  
Neal opened his mouth to remind Lord HaMinch that he had four months to get over the phenomenon, but with a pleading glance from his daughter and the reminder from his wife earlier telling him to behave, he shut his mouth unhappily.

"Kimiko, I must ask you, as I've asked all my female pages, to reconsider. It's a hard life, and though things are changing you will still get a hard time from the boys, your teachers, and from the rumor starters at Court. There are other options besides becoming a knight. There are the Queen's Riders, for instance, who are just as effective and they learn how to fight and ride. And the Queen's Ladies, who ride with the queen. It wouldn't be difficult for you to be accepted in a few years because of your parents' connections. Of course, I will not stop you if this is truly the path you wish to take, but I want you to consider the other options." And Kimi had, but she wanted to be a knight more than anything. Kimi paused, as if considering, then shook her head. "I will not protect you or make it easier for you because of your sex."

"And nor should you," Neal interrupted coldly. He did not like Lord HaMinch's hostile tone. "My daughter did not come here to be given leverage over the other pages nor did she come here to be encouraged to do something else. As you know, my daughter has thought through this and knows the troubles she faces, and plans have already been settled for her. Please, I suggest we move on."

Padraig HaMinch met this with his own icy glare. "I see," he said slowly. "Kimiko, do you agree with your father?"

Kimi knew the way she answered would somehow be very important. She looked him in the eyes and said quietly by firmly, "Yes, my lord."

He hesitated; then said, "Very well." He continued by telling her all the rules and what her duties at the palace consisted of. "Your door must remain open if a boy is in there, as must their doors. Do you understand me?" Kimi nodded, and Lord HaMinch stood up. "Outside is my man Machal, and he will show you to your room. Good day, Duke Nealan, and I will see you later tonight, Page Kimiko."

Kimi and her father walked out of the office and closed the door behind them. Kimi sighed with relief. "That wasn't so bad, now was it?" she asked with a smile.

"Oh, yes," Neal muttered sarcastically, "just about as much fun as getting your teeth pulled."

"Oh, Father," she said and shook her head. "Machal! Hello! We're ready to be shown my room if you would be so kind."

Machal smiled at Kimi and led the way. Kimi and Neal both knew where the Page's Wing was, but they followed the man anyway. Kimi had spent almost half of her life visiting Princess Shinkokami and her children, and so knew the palace so well she felt like she lived there. Unfortunately, it had been several months since her last visit due to the royals moving to their summer home on the coast, and Kimi viewed the small changes in the castle with a silent eye.

The three arrived and Neal helped Kimi get situated and move around things to her comfort. "Well," Neal said awkwardly when there was no more to be done. Kimi smiled brightly at him, for she knew how difficult it was for him to say good bye.

"Good bye, Da, and we'll see each other soon," she said, and she hugged him quickly and let him pat her on the back.

"Good bye, Kimi," he said and moved to the door. Kimi pretended to move around her Yamani waving cats, but she still heard him when he murmured softly, "My brave girl." The door shut slowly, and Kimi sunk onto her bed, suddenly feeling quite lonely. "Snap out of it," she ordered and shook herself so she understood the message.

She decided to get dressed and keep very busy. Kimi pulled on some breeches, a tunic and shirt and put her dress away in her trunk.

A sudden knock on the door broke into Kimi's boredom, and she leaped up to answer it. Behind it, there stood a slightly nervous girl who looked about fifteen. She had bright curly red hair and her nose and cheekbones were covered in orange freckles. She was tall for her age, and steadily built, but managed to remain feminine and curvy. Her eyes were a bright blue, framed with fine red eyelashes, and she had a simple beauty. The girl was wearing fine work clothes of a noble and on the sleeve of her shirt was embroidered of the colors of Hollyrose. Kimi beamed at the girl and the girl responded with a grin of her own.

"Page Kimiko, it is a pleasure to see you again." They had met once before when Kimi attended a birthday banquet for Young Prince Jonathan last year and the female squire had served Kimi and her parents.

"Squire Regiana, as is a pleasure to see you," Kimi returned, and the two girls shook hands. "Come in, come in, Regiana!" Kimi invited, and Regiana took the chair while Kimi perched on the bed.

"Call me Ana, or if you want to tease me like the boys, Regi Red," Ana said with a roll of her eyes.

"If you would call me Kimi. Congratulations on becoming the squire to Sir Merric, Ana."

"Thank you, it is an honor. I assume you've been given all the advice you can stand?" Ana asked with a smile.

"Almost. Lady Keladry is a good friend on my father's, so I have been given a large amount from her," Kimi replied. "Not that I couldn't do with more, if you have any worthwhile information."

"Lucky you," Ana said sincerely. "Listen, I know you have Sir Keladry, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I would be glad to, and more than willing. It's tough at first, but you'll do fine."

A boy's voice echoed through the hallway with a call of "Regi Red!" Ana rolled her eyes but acted unsurprised to be called that nickname.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a plainly wrapped box. "There is a tradition among us lady knights, and I am the messenger this time." She placed the box into Kimi's hands. "To you, from us." The two girls stood, and Ana hugged the younger girl. "Goddess Bless, Lady Page," she said simply, and left Kimi alone to open her gift.

Kimi hastily tore off the paper and opened the small rectangular box. Inside was a magic talisman, specifically designed as a focus for Kimi's healing magic. Kimi had inherited the Gift from both her father and mother, and it was fairly powerful. Kimi examined it and knew with a special twist of her magic it would easily sooth the bruises and aches of whoever held it, and make the healing faster and easier for her. For a first year page expecting bruises and pains like all pages should, it was perfect. Kimi dashed out into the hallway, but Ana was long gone.

Kimi knew it was time for the pages and Lord HaMinch to start heading her way, so she quickly placed the talisman back into its box and locked her door. She could hear some of the other first year pages begin to submerge, and soon one page stuck his dark-haired head out into the hall. Kimi received a shock when his whole body followed and she recognized him.

"Jonathan?"

Prince Jonathan V of Conté smiled at her warmly and said "Hello Kimi."

She was immediately pleasantly surprised and ran over and hugged her best friend. "It's great to see you! But what are you doing here?" You're not supposed to come until next year!" Jonathan was nine, but was going to turn ten next month. His father, Prince Roald, had decided to wait until the following year to send his eldest son to train as a page as was tradition for the royal family.

"Oh, you know, grandfather and the training master said I was old enough to start now, and mother agreed with them." Kimi believed him without question until she saw a slight glint in eyes that informed her he wasn't telling the entire truth.

"Jonathan," she began, but by this time all the pages were standing in front of their door and Kimi heard a great many footsteps echo down the hallway towards them. Kimi returned to her spot as a group of about twenty five boys marched over to the new pages, led by Lord HaMinch.


	4. Chapter 4

"We will now be picking sponsors for the new pages," Lord HaMinch began without preamble. "State your name and fief." He pointed at Jonathan.

"Jonathan of Conté," Jonathan said clearly. Although he was the youngest, he had a confidence only a born royal could wield. He was much like his grandfather, King Jonathan IV, in personality, and took his royalty and natural born leadership in stride. He was nothing like his father, Prince Roald in both looks and personality, and in truth did not look like he was of the Conté line. He looked entirely like a Yamani prince. Kimi supposed that wasn't a fair judgment, for he did have the build and height of his father and grandfather, and he certainly was an attractive little boy; and his skin was lighter than a Yamani's and his eyes slightly more round. But these were features often overlooked by the common man. Kimi had overheard her mother and Princess Shinkokami gossiping a while ago, and learned that King Jonathan was not going to die for a good long while, and that when he did and if his grandson was old enough, he'd give the crow to Jonathan. Kimi knew that was reasonable because both the Jonathans had a sense of ruling that Roald lacked. But as Kimi studied him, she wondered if the Tortallan people would really accept a king who looked so foreign.

"I – I'm sorry?" she stuttered, and heard some of the boys giggle. She was so intent on Jonathan that the training master's sudden attention took her by surprise.

Lord HaMinch just looked sad. "I said, what is your name and fief?"

"Kimiko of Queenscove," she said clearly. She held her head up high with a confidence she didn't know she had, and smiled at them.

"And who will sponsor Page Kimiko?" Lord HaMinch asked the senior pages. And to everyone's surprise, including Lord HaMinch, a boy raised his hand.

"Furtan of Crewe?" The boy nodded, and Lord HaMinch nodded slowly in return. Kimi went and stood next to her sponsor.

The other pages were dealt out: a scared redheaded boy named Mortimer of Kennan to a large Bazhir noble named Addam Slama; a small blonde boy named Ulric of Licten to Theobald of Vitry; and a short and wide boy called Jiri of Ostry was taken up by Frantisek of Rezek.

All the first years were terrified, but Furtan gave Kimi an encouraging smile. Now that that was done, the pages followed Lord HaMinch to the Mess Hall. Furtan was patiently describing the palace to Kimi, but Kimi was only half listening since she had spent a great deal of her childhood there because of her parents' relationship with the royals and head healers.

"I'm sorry," she interrupted finally, "but I know the palace well. Thank you for trying to help me, though."

Instead of being annoyed that she wasn't listening, he gave her a grin and patiently asked a question. "Do you visit here often because of your mother?"

Kimi was a little surprised that he knew of the friendship between Princess Shinkokami and her mother, but she nodded. "The castle is like my second home, except for Masbolle. My Aunt Kel and Uncle Dom live there now and we visit there often. I assume you've heard of the Lady Knight Sir Keladry of Masbolle, formerly of Mindelan?"

"Who hasn't? My best friend talks constantly of her. She's her hero." Furtan said with a patient air of someone whose head of Sir Keladry's good deeds a dozen times. "I do have some advice for you. You might want to pay more attention when people, especially teachers and the training master, are talking to you. I've noticed you tend to drift off into your own thoughts and your face changes…"

"My Yamani mask," Kimi filled in with a smile. She liked his patience.

"Yes, so I'd watch yourself."

"Thank you, I will keep that in mind."

They arrived at the Mess Hall and Kimi and her sponsor sat at a table with several other pages. Jonathan and his sponsor also sat with them, to Kimi's delight. She realized with some chagrin that she didn't know Jon's sponsor.

"Excuse me," she said with her most charming smile, "I am a creature with a poor memory and I am deeply upset that I cannot recall your name. If you would enlighten me, I would be so please."

Most boys would gape at her in confusion then quickly give their name and turn away, but not this boy. He seemed thrilled to have a show of flowery words and rose up to it. "My dear girl," he said as dramatically as a Player, "you grieve me with your lack of memory. I am called Patrik of Anjou, a name, as you have realized, of great importance." His dramatic face dropped off and he looked at her with curiosity. "How did I do?"

"You are amazing, exquisite, and so forth, we _know_," a boy with dark curly hair teased Patrik. "And here we thought the Player battles would diminish after Wallace left." His bright dark eyes turned to Kimi. "I will introduce myself with less flair: I am Gary, or my full name Gareth of Naxen. And you must be Kimiko?"

"Kimi, please," she requested. Her expressive eyes filled with laughter. "I guess word of my coming has been spread around." Mischief began to gleam in her eyes as she added," It's puzzling, for it's not as if I am doing anything unusual."

Patrik, Gary, and Jonathan snorted while Furtan, slow to see she was joking, said thoughtfully," well, in truth, you are. Although there have been five others before you, the idea of a lady knight is still rather new to this generation."

The boys rolled their eyes and ignored his confused stare. Kimi politely explained with a gentle smile that she wasn't being serious.

It was at this moment the squires at the palace started trickling in. Patrik stood with a shout to "Regi Red" when she came through the door. Ana waved to the boys and got her tray of food and came over. Ana put her tray down next to Patrik just in time when Patrik jumped forward to hug her fiercely. Kimi recognized his yell from earlier when Ana was visiting and realized the two must be good friends who hugged often. The rest of the older boys gave out their own gleeful calls of "Regi Red" and made more room for her to sit down.

"Regi Red?" a young Ulric asked his sponsor Theobald.

"Yes," Theo said, "her real name is Regiana, and she insists we call her Ana, but everyone just calls her Regi Red."

_Poor Ana,_ Kimi thought. _She will probably be known for the rest of her life as Regi Red._ But Ana didn't seem to mind as Furtan and Gary both bombarded her with questions about her summer. Ana laughed at their attention and began to tell them of her time with Sir Merric while being gently prodded to eat by Patrik.

Kimi suddenly noticed how strange it was for a squire to be sitting with all the pages instead of with the other squires. Slowly it dawned on Kimi that all the squires were giving Ana dirty looks and that all of Ana's friends were at least one year younger than her.

And then abruptly, everything made sense. Ana had had no friends her first year as a page. She had been completely alone and all the older pages and pages her year had hated her for being a girl. Kimi studied the two fourth-year pages, Furtan and Patrik and realized they must have been her first friends here. Passionate, caring Patrik and patient Furtan had given her a chance and decided to be outcasts with her. Kimi searched her brain about the other female knights. Alanna had pretended to be a boy, so she had had no trouble, and Kel had had a very old page (Kimi'sfather) to be there for her. The sisters had depended on each other to make it through their first year, and Ana had had no one. Kimi was filled with pity, admiration and gratitude for the older girl. Without Ana paving the way for her through her friends, Kimi would have been abandoned by her sponsor the first day and left alone. But at that thought another piece fell into place.

She looked at Jonathan, then up at the high table at Lord HaMinch. Jonathan had been accepted a little earlier to be a friend to her because the training master believed the same thing would happen to Kimi as what happened to Ana. His behavior, and her father's words all made more sense than they did in Lord HaMinch's office. Kimi was overcome with an emotion she couldn't identify, but she shoved it behind her Yamani mask for later. Then she dropped the mask entirely and smiled warmly at Jonathan. She could tell he knew that she figured it out, and he looked slightly uncomfortable. So Kimi joined into the conversation with her new friends until it was time to retire.

As she got ready for bed she wished she could talk to either her father or the training master and ask who was the driving force behind having Jonathan come a little earlier than was first planned. But then, she thought as she blew out her light and snuggled under the covers of her bed, she should be grateful that she was loved and cared for, and that she had her best friend Jonathan with her.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning Kimi woke with a groan as the dawn bell clanged loudly throughout the palace. Completely bleary eyed, she stumbled out of bed and tossed cold water on her face.

"I hate mornings," she mumbled as she dressed and prepared for a morning of lessons. Lord HaMinch believed paying attention in class was highly important and understood that the boys (and occasional girl) were too tired after morning workouts to do their best in school.

Kimi hurried to breakfast and sat down next to her sponsor. "Good morning," he greeted her kindly.

"What's so good about it?" muttered Kimi crankily as she ate her porridge slowly. Realizing she was being rude, she smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry; I'm not a morning person. At all. Here, talk to me in about an hour and I'll be funny and nice once more."

Furtan smiled at her with understanding. "You'll get used to it."

"I doubt it," Kimi muttered under her breath but smiled agreeably. She started to feel sick from the little porridge she did manage to eat. She hated eating breakfast, but knew it was going to be a long time before lunch.

Patrik sat down in front of Kimi and smiled cheerfully at all of them. "Good morning!" he cried and ignored the glares of his fellow pages. "Have any of you seen Regi Red yet this morning?" Everyone shook his or her head and Patrik looked concerned. He got up and scampered away, apparently to go find the female squire.

Kimi gave Furtan a questioning look. He smiled sadly. "Patrik worries about Ana." Furtan was the only one who called her what she wished to be called. "You could say he's devoted to her," he said slowly.

"Devoted to her?" Theobald of Vitry, called Theo, began to laugh. He was a tall and bony second year with sandy hair and lively green eyes. From the little Kimi knew of him, he liked to gossip and knew almost everything about everyone. "Patrik _loves_ Regi Red. He never really got over the scare last year when she stopped eating." He leaned over Gary to Kimi and said conversationally while ignored Gary's glares, "Regi Red thought she was too fat and stopped eating. It wasn't noticeable to anyone until Patrik found out. I'd never seen him so mad. Luckily he made her start eating, I guess it was two months before he found out, and we managed to hide her problem from –"

"You need to watch your tongue," Gary said and shoved Theo away angrily before he could reveal anymore to the curious pages. "Regi Red's problems are her own, and we need not discuss it. Do I make myself clear?" His dark eyes were very hard.

Theo gulped and nodded, then returned to his plate. Patrik came into the Hall followed by a smiling Ana. Patrik did not look happy at all.

"Guess what, boys? My lord says we're to leave in two days!" she announced.

"Where are you going?" asked Gary after the well-wishers quieted down.

"South, to Persopolis. I've never been there before, and it should be exciting," her blue eyes shone happily. "My lord promises that I'll see and learn more of the Bazhir fighting arts."

Furtan had been studying Patrik's response to all of this and said quietly, "How long will you be gone?"

"My lord says we won't return to Corus for at least another year. After Persopolis we will ride north to the Scanran border to check on some former refugee camps and some forts. We'll be on the road a lot, and especially with the King's Own." Kimi looked at Patrik and saw that his body was very rigid as he studied his plate. "Well," she said as she stood up, "I need to get packing. I have so much mending to do."

"You haven't eaten anything." Patrik looked up and spoke for the first time.

Her curly red hair bounced and shimmered in the light as she turned and looked at the pages who were regarding her so carefully. She pretended to look startled, but no one was fooled, least of all Patrik. "You're right!" She picked an apple off the table and took a bite and swallowed it. Her eyes dared Patrik to say anything else. He didn't. "I'll take this for the road then. I'll see you all later; or maybe not," she pointedly glanced at Patrik who met her with a stubborn look.

"We will," he said quietly, and watched as she walked away. Patrik looked so miserable that the rest of the meal was consumed in silence.

------

"As you already know, we have classes in the morning until noon," Furtan was explaining to Kimi as they walked to their first class. "Now, the History teacher is Sir Myles of Olau and he's very old. We were all surprised he came back this year: we were convinced he was going to retire at the end of last year. Apparently he thought he could handle another year." Furtan held up his hands in a gesture that plainly said that he thought it was none of his business and he couldn't judge the aging history teacher.

"Hey Sir Myles!" Furtan greeted, somewhat loudly. "Another year?"

"Yes, one more year. I think I'm quite stable mentally, don't you?"

"Why yes, yes of course," Furtan stuttered. Kimi thought he was much too polite. Before her sat one of the oldest men she had ever seen, and she couldn't imagine teaching a class. Shaggy hair that was almost straight white covered his head and face, and wrinkles were visible where the hair did not cover.

"But I have gotten older," Sir Myles allowed as the rest of the pages took their seats. "And I have changed my mind about some things. Like the Code of Chivalry."

"We've talked about the Code of Chivalry a dozen times," said one third year page in the back. "Sir," he added when Myles looked at him.

"Yes, yes, but I believe it is good for the nobles to follow it, as the commoners now have theirs rights to follow."

"But that is entirely different!" burst out Gary. And Kimi watched in fascination as Sir Myles got the class to discuss nobles and commoners' rights and privileges. She saw a gleam in his eyes when someone mentioned the Lalasa Act that got put into effect six years ago concerning the rights of the serving class. She grinned at him when she noticed that on the board in the bottom corner was written "the Lalasa Act". The man, though old, was very smart and Kimi enjoyed the lesson thoroughly.

She was less pleased with the next class. Etiquette was next and the first half Kimi wanted to scream of boredom. She knew more etiquette than she could stand from her mother: both Yamani and Tortallan manners were taught to her. But they had been girl lessons, and she was lacking some skills in boy protocol, which annoyed her a little. So Kimi decided to sit next to Patrik and try to cheer him up.

"It reminds me of a game we used to play when we were little," Kimi said as they watched the first year pages get yelled at by the etiquette teacher. Kimi had been exempt from it because it was a lesson on how to bow to a Yamani dignitary and Kimi had passed on the first try.

"Hmm?" Patrik said. Kimi could tell he was still thinking about Ana because as much as he tried to hide it, he looked miserable.

"My brothers and sister and Jonathan and his sisters and I would have a queen or king for a day and we'd bow to him or her. If the bows weren't low enough for his or her liking, the monarch would steal my mother's fan and smack them over the head with it."

"Sounds to me like Prince Jonathan's going to be a great ruler with training like that," Patrik commented dryly.

Kimi laughed and continued her point. "Well, it seems to me that his life would be so much simpler and if easier if he only had a lady's fan." Kimi gestured to their teacher. The image was a funny one: a very large and beefy Mithran priest in orange robes holding a lady's fan and smacking the boys' heads with it.

This actually caused Patrik to smile. "Yes, of course. What man's life wouldn't be easier with a lady's fan?"

"Very few," she answered with a straight face. "If men were permitted to carry around lady's fans, men would actually have a chance in this world." But grinned, giving away the game, but Patrik continued.

"Does color make a difference?"

"But of course! Status is everything. Purple is the highest."

What color would his be?" he asked.

"Pink, naturally. With white flower designs on it. I can tell right now, when he isn't wearing orange, he's wearing pink."

"Yes, I can see it too. Pink is such a manly color."

Oh, but it is!" she exclaimed.

"That's why he wears it so much; he needs all the help he can get." Patrik laughed.

"Yes," she replied seriously. "I wore pink so often my mother didn't know what else to do with me except send me to be a page."

Patrik smiled again, although this time it was closer to a grin. "Oh? So that's why you're here?"

"Truthfully? Yes! I'll have you know that I'd be an embarrassment to women in general if I tried to be a lady. I don't even own a fan. My mother thought a sword would be close enough and so sent me here." She sighed dramatically. Patrik laughed in surprise but he grew serious.

"I can't see you being an embarrassment to women. You are a pretty little thing, and graceful. And you have a fine family. There is no reason why you wouldn't make a fine lady and wife."

Kimi was stunned into silence momentarily, for she wasn't being serious. When she opened her mouth to reply, the Mithran priest came up to them with an annoyed look stamped across his face. "Anjou! What have you been doing? This class is not to be used to flirt! Get to work. And I suggest, Queenscove, that you take your year studying in this class seriously, for I will not have you become a distraction to the boys." Kimi quickly flipped open her book and pretended to read it.

She glanced at Patrik who was also staring mindlessly at an etiquette book. "Were you flirting, Patrik?" Her voice was kept low and teasing so only Patrik could hear her; "because unless you like boys, I'm not much of a flirt."

Patrik laughed and risked a roasting glance from the Mithran priest. "You _are_ a distraction, Queenscove, and I suggest that you try to stay on the majority of the teachers' good sides."

"Done," Kimi grinned at him. And to prove her point, no more mishap took place with her in the other classes.


	6. Chapter 6

The rest of the boys ignored Kimi, and it annoyed her a little. She had a friendly personality, and that so many despised her hurt her some. But that she had people were willing to involve her in their groups and get to know her pleased her more than she could express in words. After lunch, the boys and Kimi changed to go into the training yard. Riding was first, and Kimi ran with the other first year boys to pick a horse. Kimi found a nice responsive brown mare that was a good size for her: light and bony but tall.

The directions to the first year pages were to pick the mount they liked, then run out and tell Lord HaMinch. By this time the rest of the pages showed up and started saddling their own horses. Kimi petted her horse Sanda one last time to reassure herself that this was the horse she wanted, and dashed for the stable door. A hand grabbed her arm and shoved her down into an empty stall. Kimi was taken by complete surprise and she fell. A shock coursed through her body when an angry boy of about thirteen kicked her. She had never been man-handled before in her entire life. She was taught by her mother the fighting arts of the Yamani, but never had she been grabbed and thrown somewhere when she wasn't expecting it. She tried to climb to her feet but the boy kicked her down again.

Angry and hurt, Kimi snapped. "Look, I don't know what your problem is, but cut it out!" Any peaceful ending to this was shattered when Kimi swung her legs out and tossed the boy on his back. She was glad his stance had been so unbalanced. She was up on her feet and looking down on the sandy-haired boy before her. He was short but well muscled and his brown eyes gleamed hate at her. He sprang to his feet and took a swing at her head. Kimi ducked and stumbled farther into the stall, but by this time the boy was restrained by a few of the pages.

"You filthy half-breed slut have no right to be here," he spat.

"More right than you! I, at least, have the decency not to go around kicking girls and calling them offensive names!" Her eyes blazed with more anger.

"You're not a girl. You're a half-Yamani savage that deserves no respect." He opened his mouth to continue, but Jonathan had come forward to stand between the two. He held out his hand to stop Kimi from retorting and stared icily at the boy. Kimi was surprised that all the other pages had given way to him to deal with the matter. Jon was clearly the youngest.

"What is your name?" Jonathan asked coldly.

"Frantisek of Rezek, Your Highness," he tried to pull himself out of Furtan and Patrik's hold, but they gripped him even tighter.

"Fighting is against the rules, as you know, Page Frantisek. You will not lay another hand on Page Kimiko or any other page unless in combat on the training courts. Do you understand me?" Kimi had never heard Jonathan use that authoritative voice before and it gave her chills.

"Yes, Your Highness," he said. He appeared and sounded embarrassed, and refused to meet Jonathan's eyes.

"Fine, now let's hurry so we are not late." Furtan and Patrik released Frantisek and he stumbled away toward his horse.

"Jon, I –" Kimi started, but Jonathan cut her off.

"No need to thank me, Kimi."

"Thank you? Jon, you can't fight my battles for me!" She was close to tears and some of the pages were watching them, but she didn't care. "How will I ever get any respect around here if you always step up and protect me when bad things happen?"

"Kimi," he switched to Yamani and put real pleading in his voice. "Can we discuss this later, please? I don't want to draw attention."

"But what if I want to draw attention to us?" She shouted back in Common, undeterred.

"Kimiko of Queenscove," he continued in Yamani, but this time with an edge of steel in his voice. "I don't want to cause us to be late, so we will talk later. Don't make me use a royal order."

"As if a royal order from you would work on me," she muttered, finally submitting to his will to talk in Yamani. She shoved past him, not caring that she was acting childish, and went to inform the training master of her horse selection.

They saddled their horses and rode around to prove their skills. Jon ignored Kimi's glares, as Kimi ignored Frantisek's glares. After riding was over, it was time for hand-to-hand combat, taught by a Shang warrior.

It was Hatsumomo, the Shang Falcon from the Yamani Islands, who was both beautiful and deadly. She taught the younger ones some basics and then set them to practice while working with the older pages on proper kicks. Chiyo, who lived at the palace as a lady-in-waiting to Princess Shinkokami, assisted Hatsumomo with the pages. The royal family had returned to the palace a week earlier, and so Chiyo was able to watch over and correct the younger ones in technique.

"Your punch is too high, Page Kimiko," Chiyo commented to her in Yamani.

"Please speak to me in Common," Kimi said. The words 'half-breed slut' still stung on the edges of her mind.

"Certainly," Chiyo switched. She looked puzzled, and repeated her correction in Common. Jonathan glanced at her, but Kimi ignored it and punched harder and lower.

Next was archery, and for an hour the pages practiced their shots. When they finished, it was around six o'clock and they were told to go to the baths. Kimi waved good bye as she trotted up the hill to her room to bathe. After a nice soak, Kimi got dressed and sat down on the bed. She hurt all over with bruises and stiffness, but she didn't have the will power to use her new talisman just yet. Glancing at the clock, she saw that she had enough time to do some school work before dinner. She managed to finish two math problems before a quiet knock was issued on the door. She opened it to Jon, who came in and said in Yamani, "We need to talk."

"Don't speak to me in that language," she said and threw herself on the bed. She tried her best to look insolent.

"Huh?" Jon was started enough to reply in Common. "But Kimi, it's our…" but he seemed unable to describe it.

"We are going to be Tortallan knights, so we should speak Common as they do," she explained. "Besides, I don't want to give them more reason to call me a half-breed savage."

"You shouldn't let that get to you. Yamani is what you are." He sat down in the chair and tried to look calm.

"Point taken," she said. She wasn't even listening. "And you came here for?"

Jonathan started to grow angry at her tone. "Stop that! If you're going to act like a spoiled brat then I'm leaving."

"Good."

"Kimi, please! Can we please talk?"

"Then talk! As your subject I will listen, Your Highness."

He leaned closer to the bed, trying to keep a rein on his temper. "Stop it. Kimi, I will always be your friend before your prince. You know that. I also think you know why I am here a year early, though it isn't of great importance. The training master thought you wouldn't have any friends like Ana. I'm also here because I told your father I'd protect you because he asked me."

"My Da did what?" She could feel her heart breaking.

Jon realized he spoke too rashly and told her too much. "I didn't think I had to really do anything, that is, until Frantisek pushed you down."

Kimi wasn't even listening; she was trying to hold back tears. She knew beforehand about why Jonathan may have started a year early, but it didn't hurt her. In truth, she had been a little grateful and even touched because the training master wanted her to succeed, and Jonathan had been willing to do so much to help her. But now she understood that her emotions and reactions had been misplaced. No one had faith she could do it alone. She had to have protectors and friends set up for her because she was a weak female who needed guiding through the process to be a knight. She was hurt and weeping, and Jonathan was standing next to the bed looking uncomfortable and uncertain.

"Kimi?" he started after a few minutes of her tears." "It's – uh – time to go to dinner."

"Go without me, I'm not hungry."

"I'll bring you back something," he offered.

"No, thank you. I don't want company and I have a lot of lines for Etiquette to do."

"Oh, right," he said. Weeping females confused and scared Jon. Kimi suddenly felt sorry for the princess who had to marry him.

"I'll be fine. I need to be alone to think. I'll see you tomorrow." She couldn't believe she was reassuring the boy who caused her to cry. Jon left with one more worried glance at her, and then she was alone.

"What do you think?" she asked one of her lucky Yamani waving cats. It waved merrily at her, and suddenly she hated it. She searched around for a box and pulled one out from beneath the bed. The next ten minutes was spent removing anything Yamani and shoving it into the box. When she was done, the room looked bland and empty, but Kimi was feeling a sense of accomplishment.

There was a knock on the door and Kimi shoved the box under the bed and answered it. Patrik rushed past her with a tray of steaming food and placed it on a side table. He beckoned for Kimi to sit on the bed, and then moved the table so she could eat off of it easily. He sat back in the chair and waited for her to start eating.

"I get scared when girls stop eating," he said as a way of explaining his intrusion.

"Because of Ana?" Kimi probed gently. She picked up a fork and scooped up some vegetables but didn't eat it.

"Partly," he said. His hazel eyes widened with shock. "You haven't been crying, have you?"

"And so what if I have? Girls are supposed to be more emotional." She could not stop the bitterness in her voice as she continued. "More fragile, too."

"Nonsense," he said. He eyed her with some concern. "You're not going to change your mind and quit, are you?" When she said nothing he shook his head. "I don't know what Prince Jonathan said to you, but it's not true. I saw you against Frantisek, and I think you could have handled it fine if Prince Jonathan had not stepped in. I saw you toss Frantisek on his back too, which was pretty impressive for a first year. You are at the same level or higher than the other first year pages right now in riding, archery, and combat, and we've just started. You're smart too. I know you'll have to work much harder than everyone else to keep up with the physical training, but you can do it. What I am trying to say is that you have more of a right to be here than anybody, and you'll do it better too."

"Do you really think so?" She really needed to know that she was doing the right thing. It was hard to tell if she was being unreasonable, and it was the first time she was having serious doubts.

"Yes, I do. Eat the meat thing. I don't know what it is, but it is really good."

"Thanks, Patrik," she said quietly, and obediently took a bite of the meat. "You're right, it _is_ good." He grinned at her, and they talked about the Shang Falcon. Kimi found out it was her second year, and that last year Hatsumomo couldn't even speak Common at all.

"I thought her accent was kind of strong," Kimi commented thoughtfully.

"You should have heard her last year," Patrik grinned at her. "On the other hand, you could have translated for us. The first two months most of us pages got bruises on our hands because we misunderstood her. She has a nasty temper and would smack us on the back of the hand for not paying attention. She's beautiful though," he added with a fazed smile.

"Oh, please don't," she protested. "I really do not want to hear about your crushes on our teachers. It would be like me having a crush on our Etiquette teacher and telling you all about it."

"Good point," he grimaced. "But Hatsumomo is much prettier."

She smiled. "Want my pie?"

"Sure, if you don't want it. It's good pie."

"That is, if you'll help me with my math work," she said, and enticingly held up the slice of pie.

He groaned. "All right, you have yourself a deal."


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning Ana was at the table on time with a full tray of food. She was terribly excited, for she had never been to see the Bazhir before. Addam Slama, the Bazhir noble, had taken it upon himself to instruct Ana in Bazhir customs.

"You will not get any respect at first because you are not wearing a veil and are dressing in men's clothes, but if you remain respectful hopefully they will not be too offended," Addam said. "Actually, it might be better for you to adopt men's manners of the Bazhir while you are there, but remain submissive to your knight master in their view."

She grinned at Addam. "Thanks. Sir Merric is strict in that, so I don't think it will be a problem. Also, I think they will mistake me for his daughter because we share the same hair color."

"True," Addam said. He had an easy smile that flashed in contrast against his dark skin.

"Good morning, Kimi," Ana greeted her. "Are you well?"

"Well enough," she replied with a sincere smile.

"I thought you weren't a morning person?" Furtan teased her.

"Oh, I'm not," she said cheerfully. "But then it depends on the day. Today looks good, but tomorrow you may want to skip breakfast."

The pages laughed and finished eating. Classes went much better than the day before, and Kimi got full marks on her math problems. There was one disturbing presence throughout the morning, and it was the hostile glares of Frantisek and his friends boring into her back. It unnerved her a little, but she ignored it.

At the stables that afternoon, Frantisek shoved her back into the empty stall, but this time she was ready. She grabbed his arm and flung him over her hip into the stall. She lost her balance briefly and stumbled backwards, only to be steadied by Jonathan. She ripped her arm out of his grasp and faced Frantisek again who had returned to his feet.

"Do you realize how stupid you're being?" she cried and he glared at her. "At least try to get me alone to beat me up, not in broad view of every page here who might step up to beat some sense into you for me, and with the chance my Lord HaMinch might come in and see you. Gods," she cursed and ran a hand through her hair. "I know you hate me and want me gone. I get the message. Now will you leave me alone so we both don't ruin our chances here?"

"Never. You shouldn't be here, half-breed. You don't even look Tortallan. I bet your swine of a mother cheated on your father."

That last phrase was more than Kimi could handle. She jumped on him and began hitting him with all her strength. She heard Jonathan cry, "Kimi, no!" Hands tried to force her off of him. Frantisek had a light of triumph in his eyes as he beat her back, but it was only a few moments before someone grabbed her and successfully dragged her off of him. She was furious and trying to get away from her captor, but he was stubborn. She looked up into the wide and patient face of Furtan and glared hotly at him.

"Let me go!"

"No, you're hurt. You should go to the healers'."

Kimi's eyes grew huge. "No," she cried and struggled harder. Her father would be there, and if he found out she had been fighting… She really wasn't willing to face his wrath.

Furtan dragged her out of the stables to the training master outside. "What is this?" he cried when he saw the bloodied page.

"Kimi fell down," Furtan said calmly. "She needs to go see a healer. May I escort her?"

Lord HaMinch looked perplexed and nodded. Frantisek was also dragged out by Patrik and Theo. He had a black eye, but besides that looked perfectly healthy. Kimi sighed unhappily with her work. True, Frantisek was stronger and heavier than she was, but it was still a disappointment that she got hurt more than he did.

Furtan guided her away from the practice courts to the palace. "Please don't make me go to the healers," Kimi begged. "I'm a healer, just take me to my room and I'll heal myself."

"Kimi, your nose is broken, your lip is swollen and you have a large bruise over the left side of your face. You _need_ a healer. Not to mention all the bruises I can't see."

"But my father is in there!" She began to cry. "He'll kill me if he finds out I've been fighting…"

"He'll probably find out anyway. Fights between pages are often ground work for gossipers in a castle like this. Come on, go inside." Kimi found herself in front of the door with the mark etched on it for healers. Furtan opened the door and pushed her in.

"Kimi!" Neal cried when he saw her. "Mithros, what happened to you?" He led her to a low lying table and sat her down on it. His eyes were filled with worry.

"I fell down," she said thickly. Neal touched her nose and Kimi allowed him to mend it.

"That's code for being in a fight," Neal said as he cleaned the blood off her face. "I wasn't born yesterday, young lady."

"That's for certain." Kimi glared at her father as he looked up sharply into her eyes. She didn't want to appear to be weak, especially to him, and so tried her best to act tough.

"Enough, who were you in a fight with?" He cleaned a scar above her eyebrow more roughly than he intended.

"Ow! I told you, I fell down. Please, leave it at that, Da. I'm already humiliated. My first real fight only lasted a few seconds, I got twice as hurt as he did, and now I have to be treated by my father. The _same_ father who's made me a joke."

He pulled his hand back from her face, green fire still glinting at his fingertips. "What's that supposed to mean?" His face looked astonished.

She looked at him with real tears in her eyes. "You – you asked Jonathan to protect me. You were in correspondence with the training master to think of ideas to protect me. I don't _need_ your protection anymore, Da. I'm trying to learn how to be a knight, and you're still protecting me. How am I supposed to protect people when no one thinks I can protect myself?"

He looked slightly embarrassed. "I am your father and I think I know what's best for my eldest daughter." His green eyes clouded over with anger. "Obviously you need protection, if it's your second day and you're already getting into fights. And don't take that tone with me."

"Fine, then, I'll leave." Kimi jumped up and winced a little as she walked to the door.

"Kimiko, come right back here. I'm not finished yet." Kimi turned slowly, for she knew not to disobey him when he used that voice. She bowed stiffly, Yamani-style and returned to sit on the table.

She remained still faced as she suffered her father's scolding and healing. "I am concerned for you. If you get into too many fights Lord HaMinch might see that as an excuse to make you leave." He pulled back her hair and cleaned the dried blood on her hairline. "Kimi, it really isn't in your nature to start physical fights. An intelligent verbal sparring is more your style, like me." He smiled at her.

"Da, I have to fight, or I won't get any respect."

His face became hard. "You will not fight again, Kimiko. Do you understand me?"

"Her face became as cold as his and her voice was icy. "Yes, sir." When Neal was finished, Kimi walked to the door. She turned and looked at him steadily.

"Do you want to know what he said to provoke me?" she asked. She could feel heat pounding in her head and thoughts calling out warnings to stop, but she continued recklessly. "He said that I didn't even look Tortallan and that my mother must have cheated on my father. How I wish that were true." Silence followed her statement. Neal looked like he had been slapped. Kimi instantly regretted her words when she saw intense hurt spread across his face. Neal tried to school his features but failed.

"Well," he said finally. "You may wish it but you are stuck with me. Now hurry to the training courts."

"Da, I –"

"Now. You've already missed about an hour. Hurry." And he turned away from her.

Kimi knew a dismissal when she heard it, but it didn't make her feel any better to obey. She tried not to think about her father when she practiced blocking Ulric's weak punches and when she returned them. Lord HaMinch informed her that she had an hour's detention every night after dinner for a week.

Frantisek cooled down after their fight and detention, and he no longer cornered her anymore. But the hostile stares and remarks continued and Kimi learned to ignore them. Kimi also found out that the next day after her fight with Frantisek that her father had packed up and went home, relinquishing his role as one of the palace healers. Her mother had stayed for a week with Shinkokami; and on the last day came to visit Kimi.

"Kimi," her mother said with pleasure when she answered the door. "May I come in?" Kimi held the door wider and Yuki entered. "What happened to your Yamani waving cats?" Yuki asked with a very slight frown.

"I thought I was getting too old for them so I put them away."

Yuki settled primly on the chair. "I see," her voice and face revealed nothing.

"Fruit juice?" Kimi offered.

'Do you have green tea?"

Kimi blushed pink. "I – uh – no, drank it all." Truthfully all of her tea and cups were in the box under the bed, but she was too embarrassed to retrieve them.

"Oh? I guess I will have to send you some more then."

"That's all right, mum, you don't have to. Really, I'm fine."

Yuki stared at her daughter thoughtfully. "I see," she said again. "Fruit juice is fine." Kimi nervously poured her a cup, wondering how much her father had told Yuki. "Your father seemed very upset the other day," Yuki said conversationally.

"Oh?" she gulped on her fruit juice.

"Yes, but he wouldn't tell me what was wrong." She stared at Kimi directly. "What did you say to him, Kimi?"

"Kimi blushed. "Was he really that upset?"

"Very," Yuki said calmly.

"Can you tell him I'm sorry, and that I didn't mean it?"

"It depends, what didn't you mean?"

"I said I wish he wasn't my father," Kimi said quietly. She refused to meet Yuki's eyes.

Yuki didn't say anything for a moment. "Kimi, I am leaving tomorrow morning. Take care, and I will visit soon." Yuki got up to leave, and Kimi bowed to her. Kimi could feel the shame burning hot into her skin. She couldn't help but wonder if her father would ever forgive her for her careless words spoken in anger. Yuki hesitated at the door. "Kimi, your father loves you very much, and only wishes to see you happy. He tries his best. Remember that. He will remember it shortly for you."

"Yes, mother." Kimi could feel tears start to gather in her eyes again. "Farewell."

Yuki closed the door behind her and Kimi got ready for bed. Acting on impulse she pulled the box of Yamani objects out from under the bed and pulled out a waving cat. She studied his bright colors and happy face and began to cry. She threw it back into the box and it shattered. "I hate you," she sobbed and grabbed her pillow to hug. She kicked the box back under the bed.

"Kimi?" a voice called through the door. "I heard glass break, are you all right?"

"Yes, Furtan. I just dropped – uh – the teapot."

"Do you need any help?"

"No, I think I got it. Thank you!" She heard him walk away. "This was a mistake," she told the empty room. "I should have never come here."

Unbidden, images came to her. Riding her new mount Sanda, a successful block and blow against her fellow pages, the feeling of her father's sword in her hand when he allowed her to hold it. The faces of Patrik, Furtan, Jonathan, Gary, Theo and Ana floated in her mind and she disagreed with herself. She should be here, and never would she allow herself to think this was a mistake again.


	8. Chapter 8

Kimi woke groggily to the sound of clanging bells. She wanted to personally murder the mage who invented the system. Slowly she pushed back the sheets and placed her feet on the floor. In a flash her toes were up in the air and Kimi was fishing a long piece of porcelain out of her foot.

"Ow!" she cried and watched as dark blood dribbled down her foot. "What in the…" But she didn't finish her sentence as she stared at the floor. Everything was covered in porcelain and glass. Pieces littered the ground from her bed to the door. Her chamber was an array of color and light as the sun's rays glanced off the sharp material.

"Goddess," she cursed. She blinked slowly, trying to remember why there was broken glass on her floor. She had thrown a temper tantrum after her mother had left, and began throwing things. The box of Yamani things lay near by and all that was left were the few kimonos she had brought and a fan. The teacups, teapot, and waving cats were now shattered on the floor.

It made her sick to look at the mess. _I did this,_ she realized. _I destroyed my past and so many beautiful things. I am a murderer. Even if I wanted to, I have no right to call myself Yamani._ She wasn't thinking clearly, and everything faded in and out of focus in colors of emotion. An emotional hangover took over her senses and she wanted to cry and scream. She tried to pull her frail Yamani mask into place, but it was now only a dim memory.

Pain brought her attention back to her foot and she reached without thinking for her talisman next to her bed. It wasn't there. Cursing, she healed herself the hard way and carefully got out of bed and got dressed. She knew she ought to clean up the mess before the maids got there, but she was already running late as it was.

She rushed to the Mess Hall and picked out a small amount of food so she could eat quickly and return to her room to pick up the Yamani remains. She stuffed food in her mouth and ate quickly while Patrik stared.

"Hungry? Or just in a hurry?"

"I'm in a hurry," she replied after she swallowed a grape whole. "I – didn't finish all my math work last night," she invented as she stuffed a roll with jam into her mouth.

"We didn't have any math work last night," Jonathan said. He was also staring at Kimi, but without expression: the Yamani way.

"Oh," she gulped some of her fruit juice and placed it back on the table.

"You need to slow down, Kimi," Gary advised. "It's not good for your health to eat that quickly."

"Thanks, Gary. I'll keep that in mind," Kimi said. "I'm done now, so I'll just go." The pages just stared at her as she took her tray back and placed it in the cleaning rack. She waved and smiled, then left the Hall. _They'll all think I'm crazy, _she thought. _Good for them._ She smiled to herself, satisfied all her humor had not left her.

She brushed up most of the bits before the bell rang, and decided to be content with her work. She ran to her classes and spent the morning in almost complete boredom. Kimi was a smart girl, and knew she was a smart girl, and the only class she had the slightest trouble in was math. Although she was slightly bored, she could not help but feel relief that she picked up lessons easily: it was the only thing she wasn't struggling with.

After lessons and lunch, Kimi went with the boys to saddle up their horses and ride. Today they were to start learning the art of the joust.

"You're actually excited?" Theo asked when he saw Kimi. "Getting beaten with a stick while on a horse is not as fun as it sounds. Trust me."

Kimi shrugged. "It's Keladry of Masbolle's favorite sport. She's one of the best, you know."

"Of course." Theo took pride in his gossip gathering abilities. "But I think you might have trouble. You're built nothing like her."

"All I can do is try." She led her horse outside and swung up into the saddle. She rode forward a bit and stopped when she saw Frantisek. He sneered at her.

"You ride like a Yamani." It wasn't meant as a compliment.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kimi said. She glared at him.

"It means you look like a whore who's being –"

"Rezek!" shouted Lord HaMinch. He had not heard what Frantisek had been saying. "Can you come here and show the pages how to properly execute a run?" Frantisek leered at Kimi and trotted over to the training master to show off. She wished his horse would throw him. It didn't, and Frantisek's technique was perfect. She hated him.

"Now, the older pages line up and refresh you memory on how this feels. The younger pages come with me, and I'll teach you how to get started."

Kimi lined up with Ulric, Jon, Mortimer, and Jiri in front of Lord HaMinch. "This," Lord HaMinch held up a long, rounded pole, "is a lance. It is your best defense against giants and centaurs. It is starting to gain more popularity at tournaments than the sword duels. My manservant will hand each of you a lance, and I will show you the proper way to hold it." Padraig HaMinch did not like to talk, and it was apparent with every word he bit out of his mouth. He liked to keep things short and simple, and kept relationships with his students very distant. He was an aloof training master, but still showed that he cared for his students and their success in small details.

Kimi took the lance that was presented to her by Machal and almost dropped it. Her eyes widened so much they hurt: it was much heavier than she expected. An idea sprung to her mind.

"Machal, do all these lances weigh the same?" She remembered Kel telling her something about being given a weighted lance.

"Yes, Page Kimi." He looked surprised at the question, and Kimi saw no lie in his eyes. Jon reached over and took Kimi's lance and nodded.

"Mine weighs the same as yours," he said.

"Is there a problem?" Lord HaMinch demanded. He looked annoyed at the interruption.

"I was checking to make sure all the lances weighed the same," Kimi explained.

"Of course they do! Machal checks them all personally." He continued on with the proper way to hold the lance. "Now, the first time we are going to try it slow, so I can see if you are doing it correctly and you can get the feel for it. Licten, you're first."

Kimi thought Ulric was going to faint. He lined himself up with the target and led his horse into a brisk walk. The lance clicked into the cradle and Ulric tried to hold it steady as he reached the target shield. Ulric missed, and the bag swung around and knocked him out of the saddle. Everyone watching was frozen in shock. The bag shouldn't have thrown him out of the saddle that easily, and he wasn't even going that fast.

"Ulric, are you all right?" Kimi suddenly cried out. She rode forward after Lord HaMinch and climbed out of her saddle. He was lying on his back and staring at her. He started coughing harshly and Kimi guessed his breath had been knocked out of him. She knelt before him and began using her magic to find any damage. Luckily there was nothing but a few minor bruises. When she looked up again, Lord HaMinch was kneeling and checking the boy with his own knowledge.

"He's fine, he just lost his air for a moment," Kimi said and got to her feet. All the boys had crowded around now and were watching with fascination.

"Wow," Theo was saying, "the bag barely tapped him and he went flying. I've never seen that happen before."

"And nor will you see that again," Lord HaMinch said coldly. "I told you, Licten, to brace yourself for any impact. You were not sitting properly in your saddle and so you flew." He turned to the other pages. "I will not have any of you make the same mistake Licten made, do you understand?" The first year pages gulped and nodded, and all went back to his or her horse to begin practicing again.

"Queenscove, you're next." Kimi tried to hide her fear behind her Yamani mask but failed to find it. She could feel Frantisek watching her as she moved her horse into the right position and sent Sanda trotting forward. She raised the lance so it was parallel to the ground and her muscles screamed in pain at her. She kept her lance steady and heard Lord HaMinch yell, "Get it in the cradle!"

She had forgotten that part, but snapped it into place at the last moment. It did no good however, for she missed the shield and the bag swung around and thumped her in the back. Luckily, Kimi did not go flying like Ulric.

"Not bad for a first try," he said to her. "Conté, you're next."

"Aw, the Yamani slut has no aim," Frantisek taunted. He was sitting forward in his saddle and waiting for his own turn.

"And the annoying page has no honor. What's it to you?" she retorted tiredly.

"That, was just a practice trial of all the reasons you shouldn't be here."

"At least I stayed in the saddle unlike Ulric." She saw Ulric sitting on a bench nearby, catching his breath. He was listening. "Sorry, Ulric," she said, and Ulric turned pink to his white-blonde roots.

Jon rode past and his lance was too high. It glanced off the target shield. "Keep your lance just a little lower and you'll have it," instructed Lord HaMinch. Frantisek rode away to try his run for jousting and Kimi looked away. On Kimi's next run she managed to hit the shield, but the impact wasn't strong enough to move the shield forward. It caused her to drop the lance.

"Nice work," Lord HaMinch called out while Kimi retrieved her lance. He was surprisingly encouraging to all although he didn't like to get to know his students. "Now we can start going faster." And so the pages practiced jousting for an hour.

Afterwards the pages brushed and took care of their horses, then ran out to do combat training with Hatsumomo and Chiyo.

"I hope this is an easy session, my arms are about to fall off," she confided to Jon as they lined up for stretches.

"You all need to get stronger in your arms," Hatsumomo said. She pointed to the upper arms to show what she meant. "You will do twenty push-ups today. Like this." She lay on the floor and lifted her body with her arms then released half way and pushed again. "That was two. You have twenty. Go."

_This doesn't look so hard, _Kimi thought and got down on the floor. By her fourth push-up her arms were shaking and she was panting with effort. She looked around and saw that the others were doing fine with this exercise. She did one more and collapsed.

Hatsumomo came over to her and said crisply, "Practice. For you to become a great warrior you need to practice and do dozens everyday. I expect you to do ten tomorrow."

Kimi nodded and drank from her water bottle. It was slightly shaking in her hand. "Practice," Hatsumomo said, and Kimi obeyed. She could only do three more.

**A/N:**

**Hey reviewers! I just wanted to thank you all for reading my story! It's very encouraging to receive praise, and helps me to continue to write on. I will update soon. Thanks again! **

**RunnerNDA: Yes, she isn't nearly as Yamani as Kel is, but look what Kimi has as a father. Neal is very emotional, but manages to hide it well behind his sarcasm. Kimi isn't nearly as sarcastic as her father, and she wants to appear as un-Yamani-like in front of her peers because of the tormenting she gets from Frantisek. Also, she never lived in the Yamani Islands as Kel did, and has only a few Yamani to leave an impact on her: her mother and Princess Shinkokami. Thanks for reviews, and good insight! **


	9. Chapter 9

Two weeks passed and autumn was coming upon them quickly. Prince Jonathan's birthday banquet was that night, and all the friends of Jonathan celebrated that they would be allowed to join the festivities this year instead of serve at them. Kimi and the boys were struggling along with school work and training practice, but finally getting used to the long days and hard work. Kimi used her healing talisman as much as possible, but not so to compromise her gaining strength. She refused to go back to the healers because it still had the memory of her words to her father, and so became dependent on the talisman to keep her in the prime of health so she would not get hurt easily.

"Look, it's the Yamani Yam. Your face even looks like a peeled potato," Frantisek taunted softly. He had just passed her desk on the way to sit with his friends. The teacher was letting them catch up on their work in celebration of the Prince's birthday. "I didn't know potatoes could be such whores."

"Leave me alone," she snapped. She was getting weary of Frantisek. Theo was listening intently, until suddenly he gasped.

"Frantisek of Rezek?"

"Yes?" he replied suspiciously.

"I've heard about your sister! Alisande, isn't it? She's the girl that got herself pregnant? It's unfortunate she still doesn't know who the father is."

Frantisek turned a purple-red color and stomped off, unable to say anything but a string of curses at Theo.

"Thanks," she smiled at Theo gratefully.

"It was nothing! I love gossip, and using it to good use is like dipping strawberries in cream. Though you might want to be careful, he isn't going to be happy for a few days until he comes up with a reasonably good comeback."

Kimi grinned at him and returned to her math problems.

The entire palace was busy that afternoon preparing for the Prince's banquet. It was not a large affair, but it was a political move for the royal family when they invited the nobles – and their children that were around the prince's age – to dine.

Both Chiyo, Shinkokami's lady in waiting, and Jonathan were absent from afternoon combat training. The moment Kimi reached the training courts she knew something was wrong. Lord HaMinch was talking to Hatsumomo, and Hatsumomo was having trouble understanding.

"Due to the festivities this evening, each of our allotted times with the pages have been minimized so that we may halt practice sooner than usual."

"I do not understand you, my lord," Hatsumomo said.

Lord HaMinch raised his voice and said the same thing. Hatsumomo shook her head and HaMinch looked agitated. "Queenscove, get over here!" Kimi trotted up closer and looked at the training master expectantly. "Can you translate for us?"

"I – uh…"

"Good." He repeated the message.

"He said…" Kimi squeaked in Yamani. Shaking her head, she told Hatsumomo in Common, "He said that because of the Prince's banquet tonight, your combat lesson has to be short."

Hatsumomo nodded at Lord HaMinch, who walked off, and then turned to look at Kimi with a still face. "And you could not have told me that in Yamani?"

"We are in Tortall. We should speak Common." Kimi replied.

Hatsumomo nodded slowly, and then took her place in front of the pages. "Today we will run. I am not happy with your breathing. Run around the area three times." And off the pages went, Kimi struggling to keep up behind them. Hatsumomo watched.

That night Kimi put on her best page attire and admired herself in front of the mirror. She could never be beautiful in page clothes, but she did look handsome. She was braiding her hair into two long strands when a knock came at the door. She opened it and a servant gave her a box. "For you, Page Kimiko," he recited and turned away. Kimi nodded and took the box over to the bed and knelt before it. Inside it was the most beautiful kimono she had ever seen. It was a lovely rust color with deep yellow leaves etched into the fabric. The underrobe was a coordinating dark pink and gold pattern that accented the kimono's colors. The obi was plum-colored with silver threads, and the entire outfit was stunning. Inside was also a note, which Kimi read with shaking fingers.

_Dearest daughter,_ it read, _here is a gift from your father and me for you to wear to Jon's birthday banquet tonight. I have talked to the training master and he says it is perfectly acceptable for you to wear it tonight. I will see you at eight. Your mother._

"Oh, no," she whispered. Her voice trembled as much as her hands. "I can't go." She did not know how long she sat like that, but another knock sounded on the door.

"Kimi?" It was Jon. "Are you ready to go? I know it's a bit early, but since I am the guest of honor…" His voice trailed off when Kimi flung open the door and leaned against the frame.

"I can't go." she said quietly. She was close to tears and she refused to look at him.

"Why not?" She showed him inside and he glanced at the kimono spread over the bed. "What's wrong? You don't need help with that or anything?"

Kimi finally looked at him. He wasn't wearing the Page outfit, but a nicely tailored blue shirt, tunic, and hose that brought out the few resemblances he had to his Tortallan relatives. She felt herself grow hot with envy.

"No, I don't need help with it. Besides, it's a lot more complicated than you could imagine." She didn't say it meanly, but more as if stating a fact.

"That's probably true," he inclined his head respectfully to her. "So, what's the problem?"

"How come you get to wear Tortallan clothes?" she burst out before she could stop herself. "It's beautiful and I love it," she gestured to the kimono, "but I am supposed to be training to be a Tortallan knight! Not a Yamani noble lady."

"Then don't wear it," Jonathan said slowly.

"I'll break my mother's heart if I don't wear it. She'll think that I've abandoned our ways. It means so much to her, I know it, but I can't, I –" She struggled with her words. She couldn't tell Jon that she really did abandon the ways of the Yamani, and that she couldn't wear the kimono for that reason.

"You wear Tortallan style clothes all the time, why can't you wear a kimono for one night?" he suggest reasonably.

"Because everyone will see me tonight, that's why!" she hissed. She began to pace.

"You can be both Tortallan and Yamani, Kimi," he said, suddenly understanding what this was all about. "You shouldn't be ashamed of your mother or her culture."

"I am not ashamed!" she cried out. Her face was flustered and her eyes shone with passion. Her head dropped slightly and part of the fire went out of her. "Maybe I am, I don't know. I am learning to be a Tortallan knight, so I should be all Tortallan. Why is that so hard to understand?"

"I understand," Jon said quietly.

"Of course you do, I think you're the only person in the world that could." She hesitated; then decided to put it all in the open. "You do understand why I am giving up my Yamani heritage?"

"Yes, but I don't agree with it. You need to know where you come from before you know where you are going." He looked at her calmly.

She grinned. "You got that out of a book."

"Maybe I did, but as prince it gives me the excuse to use it," he teased.

"Oh, yes, our amazing hallowed prince." She dropped into a mock curtsy.

"It's my birthday, so be nice to me." He tried to act offended. He suddenly grew serious. "And since it is my birthday, I order you to wear that kimono."

"Jonathan!" she protested.

"Please, for me. You don't want to hurt your mother, and it's only for a few hours." He held the kimono up enticingly and gave her puppy-dog eyes.

She heaved a great sigh dramatically and took the kimono from him. "Fine, but go away so I can dress. I'll only be a few minutes." When the door shut behind him Kimi fingered the beautiful fabric uncertainly. Jonathan had given her a royal order, but she was pretty sure he'd yield if she resisted. She knew tons of blackmail material to use if he did persist. And she had to be Tortallan. She was going to be a Tortallan knight, not a half-Yamani, half-Tortallan knight. She had received enough grief in her life because of what she looked like. She knew that she could never pass for a full blood Tortallan, but putting on a kimono would only accent her foreign looks. She loved her mother, but being accepted as Tortallan was much more important that staying true to her ancestry. She had to be Tortallan.

In an instant her mind was made up. She placed the kimono carefully in its box and threw open the door. "Jonathan, can you see to it that my mother receives this soon with the message that it does not fit? Thank you." She knew he could tell that she was lying, that she didn't even try on the kimono, but she didn't care. She shut the door quickly and heard silence. Finally Jon sauntered away unhappily and left Kimi to finish her hair. She hoped she was doing the right thing, but she was no longer sure anymore. Her actions might cause a permanent rift between her and her parents. She had already alienated one parent, was she willing to alienate the other? But the kimono was already gone and it was too late to retrieve it.

---

Kimi entered the Banquet Hall and met the moment she had been dreading.

"Kimi!" her mother said when she saw her. "You are looking well. Jonathan came and told me the kimono did not fit. It is most disappointing, especially since I got the measurements from the palace tailors. It is fortunate that your page outfit seems to fit still."

"Yes," Kimi said. Her mother knew she had lied, and knew that Kimi had knowingly rejected her gift. There was nothing else to say.

"Hello, Kimi," her father said awkwardly.

"Hello, Da." Kimi felt and looked just as awkward. She could feel someone watching her and looked around to spot Hatsumomo staring at her from a little farther down the Hall. "Well," she said after a few more uneasy seconds, "I am going to go sit with Jonathan. I will talk to you later." And she walked away from her parents, refusing to meet their eyes.

The rest of the night passed easily enough, and Kimi avoided looked towards the table where her parents sat. After the dinner ended, Kimi returned to her bed late after calling good nights to her friends. On her pillow was a note from her mother. It said that it was unfortunate that they did not get to talk longer, but that she and Neal had to leave early to next day. _Until Midwinter_, the note said in parting. Kimi added it to her Yamani box then fell into bed exhausted. She was glad that the next day was Sunday, a free day, and that she could sleep in.

**A/N Again, thanks for the reviews! It's so nice to have constant reviewers. :-) And don't worry, Kimi will have a strength sooner or later, but it won't be something she will be expecting. I will try to update this story at least once a day, so expect more chapters very soon. Thanks again!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews again! Oh! Please don't be sad! There has to be some conflict, otherwise it wouldn't be much of a story! A note of warning though: Things have to get worse before they get better. Enjoy the chapter. **

Kimi's eyes opened to near darkness and she groaned. Someone was pounding on her door and it wasn't even dawn. She rolled out of bed and opened the door.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Page Kimiko," Hatsumomo addressed her and bowed to her. "May I come in?" Kimi moved to one side then sat back down on the bed. The Shang Falcon entered and studied the young girl for a minute. Suddenly Hatsumomo said sharply, "Get up! And get dressed. You and I will be training today."

"What? Today? Why?" Kimi said as she sprang to her feet. The Shang Falcon was not someone to be disobeyed.

Hatsumomo studied her intently. "I am a warrior woman and know how hard it is to succeed. You need me to teach you the ways in which to grow stronger. You are barely keeping up. If you do not get help, you will not last for very much longer. Now get dressed. Quickly, or I might change my mind."

Kimi stumbled behind the dressing screen and into training clothes. It was much too early for Kimi to fully grasp any of this, but she hurried to obey.

"Now, Page Kimiko," Hatsumomo began when Kimi appeared.

"Please, call me Kimi," Kimi interrupted.

"Very good, but you must call me Mistress Falcon. I did not get that name for it to be never used."

"Yes, Mistress Falcon," said Kimi meekly.

"Very good. Now, we will do this every morning. You must be up and ready when I come for you and you must be prepared with all your equipment."

"What time is it?" Kimi rubbed her eyes. She still couldn't digest in her mind that the Shang Falcon was in her room ordering her around.

"An hour before dawn." Kimi wanted to faint. "Now, do you have a glaive?" Kimi blushed and pulled it out from under her bed. Hatsumomo snatched it from her and examined it. "There is dust on this. Then I trust you have also not kept up with the Yamani fighting arts?" Kimi shook her head. "Fine, carry this, and we go to the practice courts." Kimi followed without question, still in her morning daze.

"Put your glaive over there, and we will start stretches," Hatsumomo instructed. Kimi obeyed, and stretched with her new teacher. When they finished, Hatsumomo bowed to Kimi, and Kimi bowed back. Mistress Falcon sprang forward and began testing Kimi in her fighting arts. Kimi soon found that she was rusty.

Hatsumomo shook her head. "Poor, very poor. When has been the last time you practiced? I would have expected more of Yukimi's daughter."

"What has my mother got to do with anything?" Kimi spat out angrily. She was feeling embarrassed because she was tossed so much and she was now starting to feel the aftereffects.

Hatsumomo stared at Kimi without emotion. "I am not a patient woman, Kimi," she said finally. "But I will give you one more chance because you have been spoiled and you have been lazy. Most of which has not been your fault until now. But things must change or I will not help you. You will not be rude to me again, and I will not deal with your theatrics. Do I make myself clear?"

Realizing she was dead serious, Kimi yanked on the shreds of her Yamani mask and tried her best to make herself stone. "Yes, Mistress Falcon."

"Better. But I can still see that you are angry. Practice. Now, we will do some glaive pattern dances." Kimi ran and retrieved her glaive and set herself up in the traditional ready position. After two dances, Mistress Falcon made her stop.

"Sloppy," she said. "Very sloppy. I see we have a lot of work to do. Go run two laps. If I don't think you ran it fast enough, you will run them again. Go." Kimi ran. By her second lap she was starting to wake up and review the morning. Nothing made sense. Why was Hatsumomo taking an interest in her now? And this wasn't the traditional workout she gave the boys and her in the afternoon. It suddenly occurred to her that they had been speaking Yamani all morning, even though she had sworn to herself to speak in that language as little as possible. Kimi wondered fleetingly if her mother had set this up with Hatsumomo the night before, but she was almost too afraid to ask.

"Was that fast enough?" Kimi panted in Common when she was done.

"No," Hatsumomo said. Her face was as still as ever, but there was more force behind her words. "You will address me only in Yamani, Kimi."

"But…"

"You have no self-discipline, so I will give you discipline. To be a woman warrior, you have to work twice as hard as a man. Now, do twenty pushups." Kimi could only manage ten. Hatsumomo shook her head. "Not good, not good. I assigned you ten pushups weeks ago. By this time you should have been able to do twenty easily. Practice." Bells echoed throughout the palace. "Good, time for a late Sunday breakfast. Go put your glaive away and wash up." Kimi took her glaive and started trudging up the hill slowly, feeling every ache and pain in her beaten body.

"Kimi?" Kimi turned slowly. "Run it." Hatsumomo demanded with a polite Yamani smile. Kimi bowed and tried to fight the emotions from showing on her face, then began to run.

Kimi fell into bed, completely exhausted, when she arrived at her room. She couldn't remember a time when she'd been that sore or out of breath. _The woman's trying to kill me, _she thought wildly. She needed someone's opinion on it; everything was much too confusing. After a few minutes of lying down, she willed herself to get up and get washed. She threw some clothes on, barely paying attention to what she put on and slowly made it to breakfast.

"Hello, Kimi," Patrik said as Kimi slowly settled on the bench. He raised his eyebrows at her. "Had too much to drink last night?"

She rolled her eyes. "You know we weren't served ale or wine last night. Try again."

"Aching from yesterday?" He guessed.

"Close enough. This morning Hatsumomo woke me up an hour before dawn and made me work out for an hour and a half."

Jonathan overheard the last part of the conversation when he sat down next to her. "Hatsumomo made you do that? Why?"

"I don't know! It was so strange! She wakes me up, tells me that she is going to help me, and then orders me around and threatens to change her mind like it was all my idea!"

"Strange," Jon agreed with her.

"And she says I have to do this every morning!" Kimi was really getting into her story and was using hand gestures.

"Relax, Kimi. Why wouldn't you want to do it?"

"I agree," said Patrik. "She's a great warrior, and I bet she could really help you improve if you work with her."

She began to grow cross. "You're just saying that because you think she's pretty."

"No, I'm saying that because you really need the help. And she's pretty." He grinned at her.

She ignored him and turned to Jon. "But, Jon, she's making me do Yamani workouts," she said quietly.

"Oh," Jon said. His polite Yamani mask settled into place.

"So you see; I _can't_ do it anymore. I can't believe I did it today. I wasn't even thinking clearly. And she's also my teacher, so obeying and doing what she said was perfectly natural. I think I'll tell her today sometime that I can't continue. I'm sure –"

"What? You're giving away free help?" Patrik said. "Don't be silly! You should at least try it for a week. And if you improve at all you should continue." Patrik frowned at her. "I don't understand what Yamani workouts have to do with anything."

She grew angry. "You wouldn't!" she snapped and got up to go.

"You haven't eaten anything, Kimi," Patrik said before he could stop himself.

"I'm not hungry! And you're obsessed with feeding girls!" She got up and stomped off. She fumed as she marched into the Page's Wing and to her room. To calm herself, she pulled out a slate and began writing. She wasn't paying attention until she looked down to read what she had written. It was all in Yamani characters. She threw it across the room and buried her tearstained face in her arms.

She stayed in her room for hours, ignoring the knocks on her door and the calls of her friends. It was about noon; and all had been silent for a while when there was a knock on the door. The knocker was persistent, and finally Kimi pulled herself out of bed and answered the door. A smiling Patrik stood there with two trays of food.

"Can we talk?" he asked, and then moved past her when she didn't respond.

"Where is everybody else?" she asked finally.

"In the market place. It is our day off, you know." He handed her tray to her and sat down in the chair.

"Why aren't you there with them?" she asked. She took the tray from him with numb fingers.

"Because I had chores to make up. And I need to talk to talk to you." He placed the napkin in his lap and took a bite of food.

"About?"

"Why I always make sure you eat." He looked very sad and he gave up on his food. "This is going to be hard for me, but I must explain myself. It's very important." Kimi nodded, and she tried to act alert. ""I don't know if you've heard about my sister, Sonsaida of Anjou?" Kimi shook her head. "Well, I assumed you were kept away from court gossip. Two years ago my sister… stopped eating. She believed that she would never get a husband because of her size and my mother supported her. My mother was _proud_ of her for her perseverance. I was here, so I could do nothing and could not see her. Then I saw her at a ball she attended. She was so thin… a sickly thin. Soon after that my mother sent me a letter saying that Sonsaida was ill. Mother tried to get her eat but it was too late. My sister died when she was fifteen because she starved herself to death." He took a deep breath.

"And then Ana decided she needed to do something with her weight last year. I saw the signs for the first time and didn't recognize them. I hadn't been home with my sister, so I didn't know, and Ana tried to her best to hide them. But luckily I finally figured it out and made her eat before she got too sick. I now know the signs, I've seen this obsession with weight kill my sister, and I swore I would not allow another girl to starve herself. _That _is why I make sure you eat every meal. I am determined not to make the same mistake again, and I will never forgive myself for letting Ana go that far. She is my best friend, and I almost let her die like my sister."

Silence enveloped the two pages. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry," she said sincerely after a pause. She picked up a roll and took a bite of it. "I understand why you make sure I eat everyday, and I thank you for your concern. But I promise you, I will not starve myself. Look at me. I'm thin enough as it is. I couldn't afford to miss two meals in a row and I know that. _Please, _don't worry about me." She placed a hand on his arm and smiled at him. He smiled back, sadness over his sister and Ana still etched in his face. "Let's have lunch. I'm hungry."

"I'm glad," Patrik said. "Me too."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: It's a short chapter, but very important. Again, thanks for all the reviews! **

**x17SkmBdrchiczxx: Lol! You make me laugh. All my characters are a little mental in their own way. :-D **

**RunnerNDA: Don't worry, Kimi will figure out soon enough that's she not alone. She's a little blinded and confused with her own problems at the moment, but hopefully she'll wake up. :-)**

"Mistress Falcon?" Kimi called after she knocked. She stood in front of the door the servant had said was the Shang's room, but now she was not so sure.

"Kimi," Hatsumomo said. Kimi whirled around to face the woman. "What are you doing here? I said mornings."

"Yes, I mean, I'm here to talk to you about that," Kimi said nervously.

"I see. Come in." Hatsumomo unlocked her door and let the girl in.

"You see," Kimi said quickly while standing in the door frame. She had been counting on a quick getaway. "I can't do them. It was very nice of you to offer but I don't think I need them."

"Kimi, I've told you I'm not a patient woman. I don't stand for blatant lying or nervousness. Come back when you can control your emotions better. In the meantime, I will see you tomorrow morning. Be ready."

Kimi looked aghast. "But Mistress Falcon!"

"Out." And she moved past her and shut the door in Kimi's face.

---

Kimi woke to the banging on the door again. She jumped up, turned on the light, and pulled on some clothes. She had stayed up half the night thinking of ways to get out of it, but all ideas flew away when she opened the door to the intimidating Shang Falcon.

"I told you to be ready," she said.

"I am ready."

"Good. Remember your glaive. Let's go." And Kimi followed Hatsumomo to the practice courts. After stretching, the two got into ready positions.

"Did my mother ask you to do this?" Kimi asked as she blocked two blows from Hatsumomo and delivered her own. She twisted around and kicked high at Hatsumomo's side and tried to punch at the same time.

"No, I haven't talked to your mother in many, many years," she replied. She blocked Kimi's punch then kicked Kimi's legs out from beneath her. She helped Kimi up as Kimi forced a polite smile at her. "You need to keep balanced; otherwise anyone will be able to do that to you easily. When you kick, keep your balance by leaning back and put your weight in your hips." Kimi placed her feet evenly and did as Hatsumomo instructed while rubbing her backside. "The children of the nobles and Shang children all trained under old Nariko. Yukimi was one of my favoritefightingpartners. She and I were evenly matched as children." She explained as they fought. Kimi punched forward and lost her balance briefly, and Hatsumomo threw Kimi over her hip. Kimi slapped the ground and rolled away.

"So why are you doing this?" Kimi asked. She ducked a kick in the head and rolled away farther.

Hatsumomo halted. "Because I understand you. I was the same as you." Kimi looked confused, so Hatsumomo beckoned toward a bench. "Come, I have a feeling you will not cooperate until we understand each other." Kimi took a seat and Hatsumomo remained standing. "I want you to succeed, Kimi. This is the short and simple version of why I want to help you. No more, no less. But Kimi, you were born into two worlds with many possibilities. Do not feel you are dividing yourself by choosing both worlds and all possibilities. It will be the only way you will ever feel whole."

"I don't understand," Kimi said. _No, _she realized, _you don't want to understand._

"When I was your age, I had to go through the same choice you are going through now. Shang children are brought to training from the time we are three or four years old, as you know, and so we are taken from our parents before real attachments are formed, and the lessons of our culture or fully pressed into us. The Yamani Shangs are not as strict as the Yamani. We are allowed to show temper, we are allowed to show distress and any emotion that grips us. But we are not allowed to let it rule us or guide our actions. I felt that I had to choose between the Yamani and the Shang. Most choose the Shang culture, so I had chosen Shang. My mother visited me once and was shocked by my behavior. She told me something I will never forget."

The Shang Falcon closed her eyes and went very still. "She said that she was very proud of me. I was becoming a Shang warrior, and I was turning into a beautiful young woman. But she said: 'Hatsumomo, you are able to be both woman and warrior. Child of mine, Shang is your title, Yamani is who you are. Warrior is your title, woman is who you are. Why have you forgotten who you are?'"

"Look at me, Kimi. I am both Shang and Yamani. I am both woman and warrior. I do not wish to be a rarity. You denied to speak to me in Yamani, as I am sure you deny many other things that remind you of your heritage. But by denying it, you are denying a part of yourself. Knight is your title, Yamani is who you are. Tortallan is who you are. Do not forget who you are. Think about it while you run two laps. Go."

Kimi was startled by the change in topic but quickly dashed off. Glaive pattern dances were next, and Hatsumomo criticized her heavily. Kimi managed to do fifteen pushups that morning. "Better," Hatsumomo said, "but I said twenty. Practice. Same time tomorrow?"

"Yes," Kimi heard herself answering. She couldn't believe she had agreed, and continued to be shocked with herself as she ran up the hill to the palace. The bells chimed for the pages to wake up when she arrived in her room, and Kimi washed and dressed quickly.

She desperately needed time to think, but she had no time that day. By the time she had retired to her room and finished her class work, she was exhausted. _I'll save thinking for later,_ she thought, and quickly fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! It really makes my day. :-) And Runner NDA... ooh, do you know you have semi-foreshadowing abilities? ;-)**

"Today we will be starting the art of the sword," Lord HaMinch said. "It is the knight's most noble weapon, and I have the honor of teaching it to you." Two weeks had passed, and Kimi still had morning lessons with the Shang Falcon. Grudgingly she admitted she had improved, and even the instructors and pages began to see the change.

"It's important to know my methods. Wooden swords are useful for first learning techniques, but they are nowhere near the weight of a real sword. So next week, after we have learned the basic techniques, we will begin to use these." He held up a blunted sword. "Once you begin to get used to these, you will need to find your own blade that works for you. This personal blade must stay with you night and day, for a knight should never be weaponless." He stared at each of them in turn, trying to ingrain the message into them. "Now, pick out your wooden sword and we begin."

And so sword fighting began; how to make the sword, the proper stance, the correct way to hold it, lunges, blocks, parries, thrusts, everything. Kimi picked it up surprisingly easy over the next week. Her gracefulness made her seem like a natural, but she came to trouble when they reached the heavy blunted sword training.

"You have all achieved basic techniques. Congratulations. But now we must use the heavier swords." Lord HaMinch picked up one of the swords with ease and began checking the balance on it. "This sword is sound, and the balance is good." He flipped it over and offered the hilt to Ulric. "Pass it around and remember what it feels like. It is important to recognize when you pick your blade." Ulric took it from him and gave it a few swings. HaMinch then picked up another blade that had been set to the side. "The balance is off on this one. Pass it around."

When the balanced sword came to Kimi she knew she was in trouble. It looked much lighter than it actually was. She swung it around, feeling her muscles protest as she held it straight out in front of her and felt the balance. She passed it on, and tried to resist the instinct to rub her arm.

When both the swords had been noted by the pages, Lord HaMinch let them come forward and pick their swords. He then made them practice for an hour. Kimi's arms were screaming at her in agony by the end, and she gave an inward groan every time she had to raise her arm high.

"Very good, all of you," Lord HaMinch said at the end of the lessons. "The added weight has not affected you as much as I thought it would. It pleases me very much." Then he dismissed them and turned away. The pages visibly shrank.

"It's so painful," Mortimer cried. Kimi smiled. She was so worried that she'd be the only one in pain, but it was clear the other pages were feeling it too.

"Off to combat training," she said cheerfully, and the first year pages glared at her.

"Don't remind me," said Jon. He rolled his eyes at her when she opened her mouth to say it was too late, and she grinned.

Hatsumomo studied them thoughtfully – as she did every day – contemplating what lovely tortures to bestow on her students. Or that's what the pages believed anyway.

"Today," she said crisply, "we will work on our freestyle fighting. Divide up into pairs." Kimi turned to Jon, but he was already paired up with Jiri. Kimi quickly went down the line with her eyes, but everyone was in a pair except…

Her eyes closed and she thought herself as a peaceful lake. She took a deep breath to calm herself as Hatsumomo called, "Everyone has a partner?"

"I don't," said Frantisek.

"Who else doesn't have a partner?" Hatsumomo demanded.

"I don't," Kimi said and moved next to Frantisek. He had a twisted smile on his face that caused a chill to rush up her spine.

"That is everyone? Good." She made certain all the pages were listening before continuing. "This is freestyle, but I want a nice clean fight out of every one of you. You know the rules of honorable combat, and I want you to hold to them. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Mistress," they replied.

"Turn and face one another and shake hands." Frantisek did not offer his hand, and Kimi knew better than to offer her own.

_I hate him_, she thought venomously, _I want to make him mad._ The idea came to her, and she bowed to him, Yamani-style, like she did to Hatsumomo every morning before they fought. And she was right, it made him mad. Very mad.

"You savage," he whispered to her. The hatred in his eyes was locked onto her and burning. "I am going to make you wish that whore of a mother who birthed you had drowned you instead."

She smiled a polite Yamani smile at him while Hatsumomo yelled, "Start!" Frantisek was already lunging forward at her.

It was a furious battle. Frantisek was older, heavier and stronger than Kimi, but Kimi was quick and knew a different style of fighting than the one taught to Frantisek. He stayed more with upper body strength while she relied more on kicks to deliver blows.

Kimi kicked at his side and met with soft flesh, but Frantisek grabbed her leg and twisted it around. She let him twist it, and threw her body into the motion, knowing that if she resisted he'd sprain her leg or worse; and dropped to the ground and rolled away when he lost his grip. Only then did she realize most of the other pairs around them had stopped to watch. She had to admit Frantisek was an excellent fighter, and she was doing moves that most of them had never seen before. Most of it was Yamani fighting, but some of it was Shang that she had picked up from morning workouts with Hatsumomo. She got to her feet and looked around the sea of faces for the Shang Falcon.

"Where's Mistress Falcon?" she asked. She ignored Frantisek and moved away when he got closer. "I mean – Hatsumomo?" She had forgotten that most of the pages called her by her given name.

"She took Jonathan and Jiri to my Lord HaMinch because Jiri hit Jonathan below the belt," Furtan explained. "Where do you learn all that?"

"She's a cheat!" screamed Frantisek. Kimi noticed with some satisfaction that he looked worse than she did. "We never learned that! She had no right to use it!"

"It was freestyle, Frantisek, she was allowed to use it," Furtan said patiently. The rest of the pages watched with wide eyes when Frantisek dashed forward and grabbed Kimi's hair.

Kimi was taken off guard by this sudden attack and clawed uselessly at his arm. He threw her to the ground and kicked her cruelly in the stomach and face. "This Yamani slut has no right to be here," he screamed. "If we don't do anything to stop her now, this whole place will be overrun with sluts like her! With half-breeds just like her!" Kimi struggled to her feet but was kicked down again by Frantisek. The pages were frozen. "Don't you see? Our fame and the reputations we will have are ruined by the likes of her! She will take all the fame and all the glory that should be ours. She will populate Tortall with bastards of savage blood and call them nobles! Don't you see? She will take our chances to make a name for ourselves once we become knights, and it will be just because she's a girl! A stupid whore!"

Kimi curled into a ball on the floor and concentrated on healing her broken nose. She kept very still during the rest of his rant and gathered up her strength in case he came at her again. She saw two figures move forward and stand between Frantisek and her when Frantisek moved to kick her again.

"Don't you dare call her that again," Kimi heard Patrik said quietly.

"Call her what? Whore, slut, half-breed?"

"I warned you." Kimi heard several heavy thuds and a loud snap, and Frantisek gave a cry of pain. Everything went black for a moment.

"Kimi, are you all right?" Gary was kneeling before her with concern in his dark eyes.

She gave a gasp as the bone of her nose finally settled into place and she nodded. "What happened?"

Theo sat down next to Kimi and helped her sit up. His green eyes were dancing with excitement. "Furtan broke his arm. Frantisek's, I mean. Patrik punched him in the nuts and nose then Furtan snapped his arm over his leg. It was amazing. Furtan's going to get in so much trouble."

Kimi blinked. "I didn't realize Furtan was so strong." He was always so patient and gentle.

Theo stared at her like she was crazy. "Don't you know? Furtan's the strongest one here. Easily."

"Oh," Kimi said. She watched Furtan walk back and realized he must be strong. He had big arms that hung loosely around his tall and large, fourteen-year-old body.

"Thank you, Furtan," she said quietly when he came over to them. Furtan smiled at her.

"Kimi, are you all right?" Patrik had just returned from the healers. Kimi knew he was the best actor, so it had been reasonable for him to be sent. She wondered what tale he had fed the healers about Frantisek's arm.

"I'm…" But she couldn't say. She didn't feel good emotionally or physically. "Thank you, Patrik."

"You don't mean it," he said. When she glanced up at him in shock, he explained. "You wish you could have finished him yourself."

That was true, and Kimi said nothing. She was in a maelstrom of conflicting ideas and emotions. Anger at Patrik and Furtan for not letting her take care of it, thankfulness that they did, loved that they cared enough to get involved and in trouble for her sake, sadness that none of the other pages – even those she thought as friends – had defended her.

"You need to see a healer, Kimi," Furtan reminded her.

"My father's not here anymore," she said quietly.

Furtan looked confused. "So?"

"I wish I could talk to him, that's all." She let Furtan guide her to the palace and to the healers.

"You did a good job with this nose healing," said Verchi of Draanen, the new Head Healer. He admired the nose appreciatively. "I can't even tell that it's been broken." Kimi smiled at him.

"It's been broken times before. I've had good healers, and teachers." She thought sadly of her father. _I should write him a letter,_ she thought as Verchi healed the bruises on her stomach. _I haven't done that in a while. No, ever. _The thought made her tear a little.

"There, there. The pain will be gone soon," Verchi said, misinterpreting her tears. Kimi hoped so.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! As by request, I put a little more Gary (but just a little, sorry!) and a little more fun later. Not the beginning, although that's my version of fun. Perhaps I'm a sadist. No matter, just as a head's up, the game I describe later is actually a medieval game, and even goes back farther to the Ancient Egyptian days. I hope you enjoy the chapter.**

Two days later at dinner Theo sank into his seat. By the jumpy way he was acting, everyone knew he had just learned some very juicy gossip.

"Well?" Gary demanded. "Spit it out."

Theo turned to Kimi. "Have I some news that will interest you."

"What?" _Had he heard something about my family_? She wondered.

"You are not going to believe this. You know Frantisek's sister? You know, Alisande, the one that's pregnant? Well, she gave birth a few days ago."

"Oh, that's nice, I suppose," she said. She wasn't sure how this would really interest her.

"I understand why Frantisek hates you so much! Kimi, the baby looks Yamani."

"_What?"_ The floor seemed to drop from beneath her feet.

"It's true," Theo nodded.

"I – I can't believe it," she stuttered.

"Yes, the father is Yamani; he has to be. The Rezek family went on a trip to the Yamani Islands nine or ten months ago."

"That's –" she finally managed to say.

"It gets worse. The Rezeks claim that Alisande was raped while they were there. I don't know why they kept it a secret until now. Maybe the girl didn't tell them."

"How old is the girl?" Furtan asked.

"She just turned sixteen, I think. She'll have trouble finding a good marriage now. It is sad," he added as an afterthought.

Kimi didn't know what to say. And from the silence that followed, no one else did either.

_That's why he hates me so much, _she thought as she returned to her room alone. _One of my people raped his fifteen year old sister. No wonder he thinks I'm a slut. He must think if the men rape girls, what do the women do? _It made her feel sick. Worry settled down upon her like a blanket and she shrunk. What about his sister's child? If he treated Kimi this bad and hated her this much, how would Frantisek treat the baby? There was nothing she could do to stop it, but she felt great pity for the child.

An arm grabbed her roughly and Kimi swung to the side and twisted out of the grasp. She whirled to face Frantisek, whose arm was a in a sling.

"What are you doing? You can't fight me when you're injured."

"I don't care. Tell your friends to watch themselves, or otherwise they are going to come to an unpleasant end." He turned around swiftly and began to walk away.

"Wait!" she cried and ran after him. This had to stop, and it had to stop now before her friends got even more involved and the hurt. She could at least do this for them.

He stopped and stared at her, expecting a retort. "I know about your sister, and I just want to say, I'm sorry."

His eyes widened and she saw many emotions flit through them: pain, sadness, anger, shock, bewilderment. "What did you say?"

"Listen to me. You have to listen to me. Is this going to continue, with your sister's child? Are you going to kill the baby? I know you want to kill me for who I am, so does that mean you are going to take it out on your family? An innocent baby?"

"I –" He looked at a loss for words.

"Haven't you figured out that out? She will be the same as me. A half-Yamani, half-Tortallan child. Is she a girl?"

"Yes." He was starting to look uncomfortable and upset.

She didn't care. She had to make him understand. "That sounds familiar, a half-Yamani, half-Tortallan girl child."

"And a product of people like you!" he yelled. "My sister was raped by people like you!"

"That child will be me in a few years, did you think about that?" she said steadily. "I am not the culprit here. I did not cause a crime. That baby did not cause a crime either. Why must we be punished?"

Anger filled the air around him and his face turned red. "Shut up! You don't know anything, so just shut up!"

"No, I think I know quite a lot," she said thoughtfully. "You didn't even think about that before you put all your anger out on me. Well, now, I don't care if you continue to hate me or not, but promise me you won't harm that baby. Please, don't hurt your niece. That's all I ask for, and then I won't bring it up again."

He spat on the floor at her feet and ran off, and Kimi did not stop him. She knew that would be the closest thing to acquiesce that she would get out of him, and she had to accept it. A memory came to her, words her father had told her: _Kimi, it really isn't in your nature to start physical fights. An intelligent verbal sparring is more your style, like me. _It was true, she realized. It was easier than getting into any fight, and more things were settled than with a physical fight. A sad smile played across her lips as she thought about how much she enjoyed fighting. _I can do both,_ she said to herself. She wished everything else in her life could be solved by just choosing both.

---

"Boys! Boys! Guess what? Look what Gary got from his father!" Kimi cried as she and Gary raced to Patrik's room where they normally studied together. They stumbled into the room and on top of the startled pages. Kimi fell onto Jon, who was sitting on the floor against the bed.

"Ow! Get off of me! You're heavy!" he yelled. Kimi started apologizing, but then she saw the glint in his eyes and knew he was just teasing her.

"Heavy? I'll show you heavy!" And the two of them wrestled for the spot on the floor.

"You two cut it out," Furtan ordered. "I thought you had news for us?"

"Ha!" Jon said when he pinned her, and then he released her.

"I let you win." Her pride stung a little as she moved away to a different spot.

"Liar! I had you and you know it!"

"No! I let you win all the time. I figure it's good for your self-esteem."

"Oh, yes, that's it. You just can't admit I'm better at wrestling than you are," Jon said smugly. She glared at him and opened her mouth but Gary cut her off.

"I got this from my father," he said. He opened the box in his hands and all the pages stood up and gathered around it.

"Wow," Patrik said. "It would be really nice if we knew what it was."

"I'm getting to it. You just need to use your patience. That is, if you actually had some," Gary said.

"So what is it, Gary?" Furtan interrupted Patrik's retort.

"They're pins," he said proudly. "It's my favorite game, but I had to leave the pins and ball at home. My father knew how much I missed them, and he figured it would be great as a break."

The pages did not play games often, and this caused a great deal of excitement. "A game? I love games!" All the boys and Kimi announced at once.

"How do you play?" Patrik wanted to know.

"Well, we need a bit more space than your bedroom," Gary said pointedly.

"Is there any place we can go?"

"I know!" Eyes glittering with excitement, Theo rushed to the door and flung it open. "Follow me!" he cried.

All the pages stared at him. Furtan shrugged and followed like Theo bade, and soon all of them followed.

"What you need is a long room so you have room to roll the bowl and get it to a good speed," Gary said. Usually a more serious boy with sarcastic tendencies, Gary now acted young and eager. Theo led then to the library and then to a side room. It was very long and square, and it was completely empty except for a few chairs. It was perfect.

Gary pulled out the pins and walked to the other side of the room and arranged then in a triangular pattern. They were wooden and circular with flat bottoms. He pulled a large heavy ball out of the package and grinned at it with familiarity.

"This," he held up the large ball fondly, "is my ball to play this game. What you do is take this and you put your fingers in the holes like this," he showed them the wholes cut into it, "and then you walk forward and throw it at the pins." He went over across from the pins. Walking forward purposely, he pulled the ball back and let it roll furiously down the room towards the pins. All but two of the pins were knocked down and scattered in every direction like flies swatted away from a pie. The friends cheered for Gary, and Patrik went to retrieve the ball.

"I'm next!" he cried happily. He tried his best to mimic Gary, but the motions with his hands and feet were not coordinated and the ball went rolling in the wrong direction. "I tried," he said ruefully. "Who's next?"

"I am!" cried Theo. He raced to pick up the ball. Cradling it gently in his hands he got into the start position. He also tried his best to mimic Gary, but succeeded. He hit two pins on the edges of the triangle.

"Nice one, Theo," Gary smiled at him. He set up the pins again and quickly got out of the way for Kimi.

"All right, boys," she said playfully. "Watch and learn." She walked forward quickly and released the ball. The ball rushed forward at full force toward the pins… and missed completely.

"Still learning, Kimi," Gary teased.

"Would you mind showing that to us again?" Patrik added.

"I blinked and missed your form." Jon said with dramatic sadness.

"I think you did very well for your first try, Kimi," said Furtan.

Kimi ignored Furtan. She sighed. "You all are just jealous of my superior skills," she said with flair. "Honestly, I've never met such a jealous group in my life. Oh, Patrik, dear, you know I learned from the best." She batted her eyes at him.

"In everything," he agreed with a grin.

The rest of the time was spent playing the game, which Gary called "bowling". They knew that they still had class work to finish, and other things to do before the lights' out, but there is sometimes a need to play a simple game and have fun with friends.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Again, thank you all so much for my reviews! I hope you will be very happy with this next chapter (and for RunnerNDA when you come back), and though it is short, it is very important. I feel this story drawing to a close now, with only a few ends to tie up after this chapter. Thank you again, my faithful reviewers. **

"Something isn't right," Kimi confided to Hatsumomo one morning while they were stretching.

"And what is not right?" Hatsumomo asked.

"I can't seem to find a sword that I really like. Some are all right, but they just don't feel natural. Maybe I'm just being too stubborn. You're a great warrior, right?"

The corners of Hatsumomo's eyes crinkled into a smile. "Some believe so."

Kimi blushed. "Of course you are. You're one of the best. So my question is, does it really matter what kind of sword it is? Or should a great warrior just be able to pick up and fight wonderfully with any weapon?"

"Weapons do matter," Mistress Falcon said seriously as she switched arms and pulled it across her chest.

"That's what I thought," the frown creased her forehead slightly. "Or maybe it's my problem. It's only been our third week of learning it. I guess I'm not used to it."

Hatsumomo nodded to Kimi that they were finished stretching. She studied the girl thoughtfully. "We will try something different today," she said finally. Hatsumomo turned and left. "Stay here!" she ordered and continued back to the palace.

Knowing better than to be caught sitting idle when Mistress Falcon returned, Kimi dropped and began doing pushups. She managed to do forty-five when the Shang Falcon entered the practice courts with two swords in her hands. "Get up," she ordered. "How many did you do?" Kimi told her. "Better. Much better. I am very proud of your achievement, Kimi."

Kimi blushed from the compliment. They were rare.

"What are those?"

"These," Hatsumomo said as she drew the sword from its sheath, "are tsurugi swords, Yamani swords." Kimi took a long look at it. The hilt was rounded and long, and the blade was curved. It was a Yamani's nobleman's sword, and each family owned one and cherished it as their family heirloom. She tossed the other sword to Kimi. "I want to try this today for a different kind of practice," she explained.

Kimi unsheathed the blade and admired it. It was lighter than a Tortallan blade, but only slightly.

"Now, we fight." They each got into their ready stance and the duel began. As Kimi blocked and struck Hatsumomo's blade, she couldn't help but notice the comfort she felt holding and using the sword. It felt _right._ The feeling evaporated after a few minutes of fighting when her teacher knocked it out her hand and placed her own sword at Kimi's throat.

"Page Kimiko of Queenscove," Hatsumomo said slowly and she lowered her weapon. "You are a natural."

"Oh, no," Kimi said. She sunk to her knees and put her face in her hands.

"What is wrong, are you hurt?" Hatsumomo demanded.

"No!" Kimi cried. "I can't be, I just can't!"

"Can't be hurt?" Shaking her head, Kimi felt panic rising within her. "Can't be a natural with the tsurugi sword?" Kimi nodded. "Of course you are. I said so. I do not waste words if they are not true. You are not accusing me of lying, are you?"

"No, no, I just…" Kimi took a deep breath and got to her feet. She walked over to the fallen sword and knelt before it. _It felt good in my hand,_ she remembered. _Like none of the Tortallan blades did. _She picked it up and held it.

"I can't," she murmured. Could she?

Flickering across her mind's eyes, she remembered her first kimono as a child and her mother, eyes crinkling with laughter with Kimi's giggle, helping her dress up in the beautiful outfit. She could hear Frantisek's coarse words whispering throughout the happy memory, and on through the next. Princess Shinkokami and her mother were teaching her and one of the princesses how to wield the glaive; then the next image showed Neal finally allowing his daughter to be a knight and the joy she felt. "Half-breed slut," echoed over and over in her mind and she dropped the sword to cover her ears. Kimi was refusing to wear the kimono; Kimi was refusing to speak Yamani; the shrill and sharp sound of glass shattering and a large piece of a waving cat's face staring at her with accusing eyes. Hatsumomo's words, "Knight is your title, Yamani is who you are. Tortallan is who you are. Do not forget who you are." The ground covered in shimmering glass and china, and dark red blood dripping from where a shard of her Yamani past had cut her.

Kimi slowly opened her eyes. She did not know how long she had been sitting there unmoving. She looked down at the beautifully simple Yamani sword; the sword of her people. Her people, and of which had felt so right in her hand.

Something clicked into place, something that should have clicked long ago. "This is who I am." She turned and looked at Hatsumomo. "This is who I am!"

"And this would be?" Hatsumomo asked with a still face.

"Yamani!" Kimi gasped. "How could I be so stupid? This is who I am! I cannot be a great knight without this!" She raised the tsurugi sword. "Without me! Without my Yamani side! I realize that now. Without all your help and Yamani training I wouldn't have gotten this far. And I cannot be a knight without this. This is what it takes for me to be a knight. This is who I am." Kimi paused. She couldn't see to describe it well; words had finally failed to come to her aid. But her emotions rang true: she felt whole like she had never felt before. She understood her future, she understood her past, and her present was aligning into place. She was complete.

"Good. You have remembered. Get your glaive. We must do pattern dances." Kimi got her glaive and performed in a daze. Hatsumomo's reaction to Kimi's revelation startled her, but suddenly she understood that Hatsumomo knew she would accept her Yamani heritage again. She _knew. _

"How did you know?" Kimi asked when the last stroke of her dance was complete.

"That that second to last stroke was too high? Because you almost cut the rising sun with it, that's how."

"No, no, that I would accept my Yamani heritage again."

"Oh, that," Hatsumomo said dismissively. "Have you not been paying attention these last few weeks? You already had. Your mind just did not know it."

"Oh." Kimi was confused, but she decided to leave it at that. She began trotting up the hill, but then whipped around and looked back.

"Mistress Falcon?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you. For everything."

Hatsumomo inclined her head toward Kimi, but Kimi saw the flicker of emotion. "You're welcome, Kimi."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Hello reviewers! Once again, thanks for all your amazing reviews! ****Thank you Lady Swathi, for putting my story on your favorites. blush I am honored. Sorry Syl and RunnerNDA, this story is going to end. Ok, ok... I _might_ do a sequel. We'll have to see if my creative juices are up to it. And redbird-flying-away, you make me laugh. Not intentionally, I don't think, because where I come from we use that phrase when someone is thinking... impure thoughts. And thank you Elentariel. :-) I'm glad too. One more chapter after this, folks. **

---

Sunlight brushed her eyelids gently and they fluttered open. Light instantly gripped her with a panic, for she never woke up with the sun, especially now that it was well into winter. It was the last two days before midwinter, to be exact, and the daily routines of the pages were still going strong. She got out of bed and the room spun as she walked forward. Tripping on the edge of her nightclothes, she tumbled forward and gripped the edge of the desk with all her strength.

"I'm going to be sick," she mumbled to herself and grabbed the wastebasket.

"Kimi?" a voice called through the door. "We're going to be late."

"Patrik, I'm sick!" Involuntarily she proved her story by making loud retching noises into the wastebasket.

"It doesn't sound good. I'll go get a healer." Kimi returned to the bed after unlocking the door so the healer could come in. She threw up the contents of her stomach, which thankfully wasn't much since she hadn't eaten since the night before, and tried to keep her body from shaking. Kimi turned away from the door and wrapped herself up tightly in the blankets. She knew that as a healer she shouldn't get sick, but that obviously wasn't a good enough reason for the sicknesses that took over her body often enough.

A cool hand brushed her cheek and Kimi turned to face the healer.

"Da!" she cried with a shivering jaw. "You're here."

"Yes, Kimi," Neal said. "The healers called me here early because of a disease that has infected the city. Congratulations, you've caught it."

"Oh, Da," she said. Her mind was unable to concentrate on any one thought except that her Da was here to save her, and that the last words she had said to him was that she didn't want him as a father. Her mind was filled with gray smoke and she couldn't think clearly; but she felt so regretful she knew she had to apologize.

Neal put a hand to her temple to check her temperature and she began to cry. "Oh, Da, I'm so sorry. I love you, and I should never have said those things…"

He shushed her gently and smoothed her hair back from her head.

"No!" she said. The tears were flowing down her face freely now. "It wasn't right, and I never wished that it was true, ever! You're the best father, and I hope you'll forgive me…"

"I know, Kimi. We were both angry. Relax now, I am going to heal you." Kimi nodded, but then motioned for the wastebasket again. She did not feel well at all.

Neal placed his hands on her, and Kimi watched his green magic flow into her body. After a while, Kimi fell into a deep sleep.

When he was finishing up cleansing her body of the sickness, Neal looked down on his daughter and smiled. He brushed a tear from her face and murmured, "My brave girl," and got up with the intention of seeing other patients. It was several minutes before the next page was seen to.

---

When Kimi woke up several hours later, her father was gone. She could still taste the aftertaste of being sick in her mouth, and she sat up to get some water. After washing out her mouth and splashing her face with cold water, Kimi felt better but still very weak.

There was a note on her bedside table from her father. _Kimi_, it read, _Good morning. You have slept all day and through the night. I have excused you from the last day before the break, so don't feel obligated to get up and get dressed. I will check on you after I've made my rounds. –Your Favorite Father." _

His signature made her laugh until she realized what he must have meant behind it. She had wished for another father, but then apologized. Yes, that was definitely a note from Duke Nealan of Queenscove. She shook her blushing head and smiled slightly.

There was a knock at the door and Kimi called for the person to come in. Expecting her father, Kimi was surprised to see the Shang Falcon come into her room.

"Hello, Mistress Falcon."

"Hello, Kimi. I've heard you've been ill. Are you better now?" Kimi beckoned Hatsumomo to take a seat but the Shang continued standing. As manners demanded, Kimi started to rise from her bed to stand.

"I am still feeling weak, but I am recovering."

"Good. Don't stand for my benefit. If you are sick, lay down." Kimi got back into bed immediately.

Hatsumomo took a deep breath and made her beautiful face become completely emotionless. "I did not come for you yesterday because I was packing," she explained. "But I am glad I did not come because of your illness. I do hope you are able to get up early on your own without me, since I will not be able to see if you can."

"What do you mean? Where are you going?" Sitting up, Kimi prepared herself for bad news.

"I am leaving. The Shang do not like to stay in one place for very long and I am one of the worst. The pages already have another Shang teacher when they return from Midwinter break, so do not worry about that." Hatsumomo took another breath and calmly studied the girl before her. "And I felt it was time I let you stand on your own two feet. I have instructed you and helped you to the best of my ability, but now it is time for you to not depend on me. I believe you can do it, and so I am leaving. You don't need me anymore, Kimi."

"What?" Kimi cried. She could feel the back of her eyes start to sting with the beginnings of tears, but she refused to cry in front of Hatsumomo; it would only shame her. "But –"

"You know all the exercises you need to practice and you can do them all. I have faith you will do well here, Kimi, if you put your mind to it and try your hardest."

"You're certain you have to leave?" Kimi asked in a resigned voice.

"Yes."

Kimi sat in silence. There was nothing she could say to convince the Shang to stay in Corus. "I need to return the sword I borrowed from you, then," she said, and pointed to the sword leaning against the wall. Hatsumomo picked it up and bowed to Kimi, and Kimi bowed in return.

"Goodbye, Kimi," Hatsumomo turned and opened the door. "I hope our paths cross again."

"Me too. Goodbye, Mistress Falcon."

---

True to his word, Neal returned to check up on his daughter near noon.

"Good, you're finally up. Do you feel rested now that you've slept for more than twenty-four hours, or do you want me to come back later?" he asked dryly.

"I'm good, Da, thanks." Kimi replied. She tried to make her voice as dry as his. She looked down and began pleating the bed sheet. "I really did mean what I said earlier," she said quietly. "I didn't mean what I had said, and I am so sorry I said it. Mum said you were really upset."

Neal smiled uncomfortably. "I was, but you apologized. I understand you were upset and angry with me. No harm done."

Kimi breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, good. Now I just have to find a way to make up things with Mum."

Neal looked at her with raised eyebrows. "And what is that supposed to mean?"  
Shock spilled into her features at she raised her eyes to his. "Mum didn't tell you?"

"No…" her father replied slowly.

"Wait a minute. You were there. What do you mean you don't know?" Kimi demanded.

"What _are_ you talking about, Kimi darling?"

"I am talking about Jon's birthday banquet. I refused to wear the kimono. I lied to Mum. I know she was upset by it. I abandoned my Yamani heritage." Kimi stared incredulously at him.

"Oh, that." He blinked at her. "She was upset?"

Kimi shook her head and rolled her eyes. Neal had never been sensitive to Yamani displays of emotion, and though it had gotten better over the years, he was still sometimes clueless.

"Yes, she was very hurt by it," she explained. "But you see, I am no longer embarrassed by it, but I don't know how to tell her." Neal gave her a questioning look.

"There was this boy who called me all sorts of names, made fun of me, and picked fights with me because I look Yamani," she said quickly. She did not want to go into detail about what he had called her and done, because Neal had his protective moments of his friends and family, and the things Frantisek had done would set him off. "So, I got upset and I wanted to fit in, so I tried to be as Tortallan as possible. It hurt mum, I know it did, but now I understand that I made a mistake and Mistress Falcon helped me see that."

"Wait, who's Mistress Falcon?"

"She's Hatsumomo, the Yamani Shang," Kimi said.

A knock interrupted their talk and Neal got up to answer it. "Your Grace," said a second year page politely, "please, Ulric needs to see you. He's really sick."

"Yes, I'll be with you in a moment." He turned to his daughter. "I'll visit you in a little while, but I have work to do."

"I know," Kimi replied. "I think I am going to sleep anyhow." And when Neal left, that was exactly what she did.


	16. Chapter 16

Two days later, it was time for the Midwinter Banquets to commence. Kimi and the boys were extremely nervous, and kept checking each others' hair and clothes to make sure they were straight. Kimi and the other first year pages – excluding Jon, who never had to serve at these things – would be back in the kitchens and far out of sight, but that did not soothe their nerves.

"Don't worry about it," Furtan consoled a stricken Ulric after he was berated for having a loose string on his tunic. "You won't be seen, and the master of ceremonies is having a hectic day. Don't let it get to you."

_Honestly,_ thought Kimi as she passed the first course to a third year page, Addam Slama, _Furtan has the calm and patience that I, as a Yamani's daughter, should have had._

The night continued without mishap, much to the relief of the pages.

"Very good," said the master of ceremonies at the end of the night. "Meet here again tomorrow at the same time. Have a good night."

Kimi sighed with relief and turned to her friends. "Are we going?" she asked.

"I'm not so sure about this," Gary demurred. "You go to the party because of your parents, I'm going to eat dinner in the Mess Hall and go to bed."

There was a party after the Banquet for the Yamani circle. Kimi had been invited, along with her parents, the royals, and the ladies-in-waiting of Princess Shinkokami. Kimi was welcome to invite her friends but they were all now politely declining.

"That's fine," she said, only slightly disappointed. "I'll see you all tomorrow then." She hurried to her room to change clothes.

_I'll have Jon to talk to, and his sisters, _she assured herself and swallowed uncomfortably, _and hopefully my family._ She hastily threw off her clothes and pulled her Yamani box out from beneath her bed. Inside were a few of the kimonos she had brought with her at the beginning of the year. They were not as splendid as the one her mother had sent her for Jon's Birthday Banquet, but they would get her point across: she was not ashamed.

Kimi pulled out a light pink kimono with a light blue underrobe and a medium purple obi. She was able to put it on without too much trouble, and she brushed her mussed hair when she was finished. She was still too young for face paint, but she honestly did not mind. She looked in the mirror and smiled. The smile slowly slid into a frown. Something was missing.

There was a knock on the door and Kimi quickly answered it. "Jonathan!" she cried happily. "How was the banquet?"

"Boring. I would have much preferred to serve with you," said Jon sincerely.

"Poor Jon," she teased. "Forced not to work hard and instead sit and eat delicious food. Royalty does have its down sides, doesn't it?"

He rolled his eyes at her. "Ready to go?" He was wearing fashionable Tortallan raiment. It was necessary for Jon to look Tortallan to win the hearts of the people he would one day rule. _Why didn't I see that before?_ She asked herself silently.

"Almost," she answered, and frowned again. "Something's missing, but I can't figure it out."

"Maybe your shoes?" Jon suggested after a pause.

Kimi gasped. "That's it!" She giggled at the prince's expression and hurried back inside. She pulled on her Tortallan style boots and looked in the mirror again. She grinned happily at her own reflection. She represented two peoples; and it made her very happy to do so.

"Ready?" Jon repeated, but with more impatience in his voice.

"Oh, yes," Kimi said. She scampered down the hall to the room they were to meet. She talked animatedly to Jonathan. "And then," she said when they made it to the meeting room, "the master of ceremonies turned on Ulric and yelled at him for having a loose string on his tunic!"

"Sounds like it was a tense night for everyone," a familiar voice drawled. "A loose string? It is a wonder you made it through the night."

"Da!" she exclaimed. She gave him a hug, which surprised him slightly, but he returned the gesture. "Yes, I can hardly believe he blew up over such a small thing! I can't imagine what he'll yell at us for tomorrow night."

"A hair out of place, no doubt," replied Neal. He opened the door for them and led them in.

It was a small affair, with no more than twenty people in the room. There were lots of children running about and playing together, and the adult nobles sat or stood around and caught up on the latest news. Everyone in the room had known each other for several years. Jon hurried off to greet his parents.

"Where's Mum?" Kimi asked her father.

Neal smiled gently at his daughter and his green eyes were kind. "She'll be here in a moment with Baird, Hideaki, and Keladry in a few minutes." He knew how important it was for Yuki to see her daughter in Yamani garb, and so patted Kimi's arm. "It takes a while for your mother to tie them to a leash."

"You brought my brothers and sister?" Kimi asked with excitement. She decided to ignore her father's humor. "I've missed them."

"Kimi!" a voice called her and Kimi whirled around.

"Aunt Kel!" Kimi rushed forward and hugged the Lady Knight.

"How's the lady page doing?" Kel asked. "You look very pretty in that kimono."

"Thanks," Kimi blushed. "I am doing well enough. How are things doing for you?"

"Well, I am now in command of some troops in the east," Kel said. "Things are finally settling down in Tusaine again, and so we were allowed to come home for the winter."

"What, nothing for me?" Neal interrupted. He tried to act offended.

"I don't believe my ears. Meathead, jealous of his own daughter," Domitan of Masbolle edged up to the group and put an arm around his wife, Kel.

Neal sighed, exasperated. "And I thought my cousin would be a better example for my children and not use that name in front of them."

Kimi giggled and hugged her Uncle Dom. "Are Chrisail and Ilane here?" she asked.

"No, they were tired from the traveling and so they went to bed early," said Kel. Chrisail and Ilane were Kel's two daughters, ages six and seven.

"I still haven't received my hug from either of you," Neal said pointedly.

Kel broke apart and hugged her best friend. "It's always good to see you, Neal."

"Come here, Meathead," Dom said as Neal grimaced, but he embraced his cousin warmly.

At that moment two children were guided into the room and followed by Yuki. Her face was Yamani smooth, but her actions cried out that she was agitated with her children. Baird and Hideaki rushed up to Kimi and each gave her a hug, and then went to greet the other children in the room, far away from their mother. Baird and Hideaki were one year apart, but they might as well been twins. They inherited more of their father's looks than Kimi did. They each had fair skin with dark brown hair and emerald color set into almond shaped eyes. They looked almost identical at ages seven and eight, though Baird, the elder, was slightly taller.

"Where's Keladry?" Kel asked. It was an odd question coming from her, but she was speaking of the youngest of the Queenscove clan.

"She is in bed. It is late for her and she was acting testy," Yuki explained. She finally looked around the group and spotted her eldest daughter. "Kimi," she said breathlessly. "You're wearing a kimono."

"Yes, mum," Kimi said in Yamani. "I hope that it pleases you." Neal and Dom looked completely lost. Kel turned and watched Kimi's face carefully.

"It does please me," Yuki replied. "But does it please you?"

Kimi sighed happily and felt the tension go out of her. She smiled at her mother, knowing she wouldn't mind. "Very much so."

Yuki nodded and placed a gently hand her daughter's head. "That also pleases me." She turned to Kel. "I think this is an appropriate time to give the gift to her, don't you think?"

"We were going to wait until the last day, but we can give it to her now," Kel said agreeably.

"Do you think if we just started speaking in Common they would get the hint?" Dom asked Neal.

"I don't know. You're lucky Kel doesn't teach your daughters to speak Yamani. Half of the time I don't know what's going on," confided Neal.

"He doesn't know what's going on half the time even when we are speaking Common," Yuki said, her eyes dancing with mischief. The females of the group laughed.

"See? It's a conspiracy. They are constantly plotting against me," Neal cried.

Yuki kissed his cheek. "We'll return in a bit." She swayed her hips as she walked back to the door. Neal gulped as he watched then went to check on the boys. Kimi was oblivious to Yuki's behavior and Neal's reaction, and followed after her mother with Kel.

"What are you going to give me?" Kimi asked. She loved happy surprises, and she hoped this was a good one.

"You'll see," Kel said. They walked to Neal's rooms and Yuki unlocked the door. "Stay here," Kel ordered, and the two women walked in and closed the door. Kimi mediated as she waited. Her face was as smooth and emotionless as stone when Yuki and Kel returned, and Kimi could feel her mother's approval. Though Kimi didn't show it, it made her very happy.

"Here you go." Kel gave the girl a plainly wrapped, long box. "A little bird told me this is what you needed for page training, so following tradition, the lady knights of the realm are making sure you succeed with the proper equipment."

"Your father and I chipped in," Yuki added.

Kimi carefully opened the rectangular box. She held her breath, for she knew exactly what it was, but she didn't wish to ruin the moment. She gave the plain paper and cords to her mother and almost cried when she saw the emblem on the wood. It was Karasu Armory, the best and most famous crafters of tsurugi swords. The lid was lifted, and inside laid a beautiful tsurugi sword. She gasped and it seemed to echo down the stone hallway.

"I don't know what to say," Kimi said. She looked up at Kel and her mother. "Thank you."

Kel smiled. "Come on, we should return to the party. I'm sure a lot of people will want to see your early Midwinter present." Kimi nodded and followed the two women quietly while they talked like the good friends they were.

It seemed as if everything was turning right again. She was with her family and friends, and loved, and well on her way to making her dream of becoming a knight come true. She knew life would not be perfect, and that she would continue to meet hardships. Frantisek still hated her and called her a slut, but he did not provoke her with her Yamani blood anymore, which was a start. She had heard from along the grapevine (Theo), that the Rezek family had thrown out their daughter Alisande and her daughter, and the two were now taking refuge in the Temple of the Goddess in Corus. Kimi knew that Frantisek would never make peace with her now because of it.

"Kimi," called Yuki when she realized her daughter was lagging behind. "Are you coming?"

Kimi hurried up to catch up with her mother and aunt. "Yes, I'm coming." _I'm coming along just fine. _

**A/N: That's it! I had already finished the story, so I just decided to put this up and complete it. Thanks again for all your reviews! **

**Ok, ok, I think I am going to do a sequel... You'll talked me into it... plus, as Kings Lioness said, something _could_evolve out of Jon's protectiveness... ;-) I've already planned all of Kimi's page years (as I've planned all the details of Tortall between TQ and my story) so all I have to do now is _write_ it. Well, it does give me something to do until NaNoWriMo. Look for a Kimi sequel sometime in the near future. This story's complete. **

**-Anaroriel **

**Feel free to email me!**


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